Week 3 Day 3

Confession: I gained 3lbs

I want to blame something out of my control like water weight, or broken scale. The reality is I gained 3lbs and it could be a number of reasons as to why it happened. So what I need to do is face the facts and move forward.

Ok so what to do next? Work out more? Eat less...or eat better? go on a bacon diet?

UGH!!! I was feeling so much better. Really feel like I've been making progress but the scale says otherwise.

OK OK I'm going to hold my head up and move forward.

Step one: Increase cardio workouts. Which I did do today and just about died. To which my shin splints are in high gear. I will move forward!!!

Step Two: Do the detox. I think it will help kick start a lot of things. First of all my weight loss and force me to be more strict with my diet.

Step Three: Stop the late night eating. I think this will be my biggest problem. Its a huge fight and one that I lose a lot. I will keep fighting.

Ok off the computer and getting more proactive. Better food, better workouts, better life!!!

Week 3 Day 2

Confession: I had pizza today.

I couldn't resist. It was brought all the way from Red's Pizza in Harvard, Illinois. Not to mention it is from family too. Ok, Ok, for those scratching their heads. I have a distant cousin....I don't know how related...I think he's my mom cousin, who started his own Tavern plus pizza diner. It is probably one of the best thin crust pizza's I have ever had. Its a family tradition that whenever we go to Illinois we get Red's pizza, and if a family member goes and the rest can't make it, they bring home some pizzas. It is tradition, you can't break tradition! Ok any trainer, nutritionist, diet expert, would tell you, YES! you can break tradition. Especially if its packed with greasy, fatty, cheese, goodness. However, I feel if you can keep your tradition to once a year or once every two or three years you'll be fine. Which is what this is. I haven't had Red's pizza in a looooooong time. As to eating pizza once a year that maybe another story, but you gotta start somewhere.

So aside from my butt kicking work out today, I got something to help me kick start my weight loss, a detox!!! I'm really excited about this. I've always wanted to do a detox. From my understanding this will be a good one, and for about a week no one will want to be near my home especially my toilet! I'm going to poop like nobody's business. I'm sure you are like "EWE" "GROSS" Stop writing about this disgusting topic. Hey kids, its a fact of life, you collect quite a bit of waste in your body and don't get rid of it as easily as you think, and I'm going to clean myself out!!!!

Ok there are a few reason why I'm doing this.

A. Kick start weight-loss. The guy at the store said that the average woman can hold anywhere from 9lbs to 27lbs of waste in their body. Needless to say that could really help.

B. Health: For the past year I've been having unexplained stomach pains. So bad they thought I had appendicitis four different times. But couldn't find anything wrong. The pain is off and on and I have no answers. Maybe this will make the pain go away or help pin point what is going on once I get this waste out of me.

C. Pooping like crazy for 30 days....who doesn't want to do that?

Here's the down side to this....I need to start the detox with a 3-day juice diet.....ohhhh that's going to hurt. I am not looking forward to that.

Oh and I'll be doing this with a little bit of a diet regime. I'll be eating lots and lots of greens to keep the toxins moving and drinking lots of water and lemon water.

I'm going to start it soon, I gotta coordinate my work schedule with my detox so I can start off on the right foot. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

Week 3 Day 1

I'M STARTING TO SEE THE CHANGE!!

Ok so I haven't lost much weight but I really think I'm gaining muscle and my body is starting to shape up. You know less flab and sag more tone and lift. This is how I know I'm making progress. You know how you pull a pair of pants out of the dryer and they immediately are a bit tight. Which was great when I was thin, I would throw my jeans in the dryer while I got ready, then magically fresh tight jeans to wear out! If you wear your pants long enough they stretch out to a nice comfortable fit. Needless to say my pants start tight and tend to stay on the tight side and very rarely stretch out. Well the other night I put on a pair of pants fresh from the dryer and they felt lose, like they do when they are stretched out. Another pair of pants I was wearing just got looser and looser as I wore them, looser than normal. I'm definitely making progress.

Ok so last week after one of my work outs I felt completely stripped of all emotions. I basically pulled myself out of bed and was fighting to finish my workout. I was so tired, and felt so defeated I had nothing left in me. I started to talk to my husband after the workout and I just wanted to cry. As I drove home with tears streaming down my face I had so many thoughts and emotions going through my brain I just didn't know where to begin. All I could do was think of every Biggest Loser episode where Bob and Jillian work a person until they have nothing left just raw emotions. Then they are able to get to the core of their food addiction and rebuild them into a new person. My head started to spin, I wanted to eat cause I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to eat, I just felt like that was what to do next. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to give up. So what was my solution? I slept.

FRUSTRATION!!!!

The more I pondered my emotional mess, I realized I'm an emotional eater. I eat to reward, I eat to comfort, I eat to curb anger, I eat to de-stress, and I eat when I'm bored. I kinda knew I was an emotional eater, but its worse than I thought. Now that I'm aware of my emotional eating I have never realized how much I think about food. ALL THE TIME. What taste good, what will make me feel good in that moment. How what food can solve my problem. What is fun to eat when I'm bored. How this food will make me feel better when I'm sad, stressed, angry etc.

Which is why I changed the name of my blog.

What have I discovered? The working out is paying off. I'm feeling better, and I find myself wanting to work out. If I'm having a bad day and I work out...I feel better. I need to relieve some stress, I work out.

Plus I've made it through the second week curse. I don't think it's a curse more of an extremely large bump in the road, a big fat mental obstacle that everyone face when they are making a change in their life. I don't think I'm quite through that part yet. I've made a lot of progress but still have a ways to go. I'm getting close to making my work outs a habit and I'm slowly making over my kitchen.

I asked my husband when I first started this journey if I get my body back and turn it into ONE HOT BOD!! I could have a coming out party. You know get all my friends together have a huge party and wear an amazing outfit that closer to a size 8 or 6. Well I decided to make my birthday my goal. Wouldn't it be great if I could start my 27th year of life with a new body?

So here's the long term goal!

By January 17th 2011

I will be 50lbs lighter and a size 8!!

Week 2 Day 6

Today is a better day!!

I was skimming thru various blogs today and found two other blogs that are talking about weight-loss. One is just a girls blog talking about various things in her life, part of which is weight loss. The other is like me and has completely committed her blog to her weight-loss journey.

It was a great pick me up knowing that there are other people out there blogging like me going through the same struggles as I am. The second girl has made some great progress and lost about 51lbs. I hope to lose that much maybe more. Right now I'm at my little 5lbs, but I know that number will get bigger and my weight will get smaller.

One of the things I have noticed when I was gaining weight I went from having "love handles" to a "spare tire." The "spare tire" started off more the bike tire sizes and has now grown into more of a motorcycle tire. What stinks most about it is that in the very front of my tire is this bubble. This blob of fat sticking out and won't move. I can't hide it under my clothes, it likes to stick out just over my pants and push my pants and belt down. If I try to pull my pants up over it, it is so uncomfortable it just doesn't last long. Then when I sit down it just likes to stick out and be the center of attention. What frustrates me most is that I think that its been growing for a while, and probably won't be the first thing to go as I lose weight. You know the whole idea that where you gain most recent is where you'll lose the weight first. That will be my boobs. Which saddens my heart cause, when I was thinner I never really had much boobs to begin with. I also never really minded smaller breast but now that I have bigger breasts I kinda like them, and would like to keep them.

I am hoping if I make it thru next week and keep at the pace I'm at I might just join a gym. Being able to get work outs in when my husband is free and on a somewhat regular schedule is getting rather difficult. Also I am finding myself wanting to go to the gym and get a work out in and get frustrated when I can't. So I'm thinking these are good signs. I join a gym, start working out more, maybe take some classes, get a gym buddy this could be really good!!!

My ultimate goal....get a personal trainer!

Week 2 Day 5

I feel completely beat up.....

Yesterday was a fight to work out

A fight to eat right and not graze

A fight to not binge late at night

A fight to get up and work out this morning

Everything has been a fight...a fight that wearing me down.

I need a win, a good day, something to go right in my life. Something to lift my spirits.

Week 2 Day 3-4

I LOST FIVE POUNDS!!!!

Ok heres the deal. Last week I weighed myself on the scale at the gym. Which isn't a reliable scale. It said 237lbs. Ok so I go shopping for a new scale and all the scales said something different but the most common weight was 233lbs. So I figured 4lbs was a fair weight loss assumption. Well we finally buy one I bring it home program it and it said my weight is 228lbs. Greg said to wait until the morning weigh myself then and consistently weigh myself at the same time everyday and hopefully I have an accurate idea of what I weigh. Well yesterday morning I weighed myself and the scale said 225lbs. So I'm thinking the scale at the gym is a bit on the heavy side, and I'll go with a 5 pound loss and continue on with the scale I bought. Hopefully, it'll stay consistent and I'll be able to track my weight loss properly.

I feel like I should be jumping for joy and celebrating but I just don't feel it. Here's the deal, I've been doing really good. Eating better, finding great recipes, working out more, quitting Dr. Pepper, reading labels and starting to read more. I had a really good day yesterday. Go up healthy breakfast, went on a great walk/run, made a great dinner, and found myself late last night roaming thru the kitchen wondering what to eat. I break down make myself a cheesy quesadilla with salsa and jalapenos. I felt awful after eating it. Like I just ruined my entire day. Oh and I had custard yesterday as well.

Heres the deal, food is a comfort for me. I eat when i'm upset, stressed, and I use it as a reward as well. If I do well at something I celebrate with food. So I did great yesterday, and felt like I deserved custard and that the quesadilla would be fine since I did so well. But in reality I just kept rewarding myself and basically moved backwards in my progress.

I feel like I've hit a wall.

I was suppose to work out today, but my husband doesn't have the time today, so i can't get the the gym. Then I got called into work early. So now I'm cutting my blog short, not getting a work out in and have to face work and all the temptations it brings.

Tomorrow needs to be a better day.

Week 2 Day 2

Confession: I had two cone cups of Dr. Pepper at work last night....but that was it....I SWEAR.

So today before I worked out I watched "Losing It With Jillian" to motivate me. Which was good, and kinda makes me want to buy Biggest Loser DVD sets to watch everyday right before I work out for motivation....although I think it might have a reverse effect on me. I watch one episode, start crying, get hooked....and now it's 8 hours later and I haven't moved. So I'll stick with Hulu and my DVR.

Moving on, I worked out today. My husband has me on this circuit that I'm getting used to and starting to get the hang of things. He's wanting me to get to the point that if I go to the gym I know how to use the machines and weights and can do a proper work out and not freak out. Don't ask me why but big corporate gyms scare me. I tend to get nervous and feel like all eyes are on me and I just don't want to work out. Also I don't know how to use all the machines or how to use them to the best of my ability so I just kinda quit. Oh and classes just freak me out. My self conscience kicks in high gear and I feel awkward, odd, and are not wanting to make a fool of myself. I know I know....Really? me? of all the people you know. I mean come on, I'm the center of attention, always doing crazy things, super loud kind of gal.....yeah not in the gym. If you want to see me get real quiet and shy just throw me in a huge gym with a hundred people I don't know.

OK OK enough about gyms. My husband put me thru this intense work out, like I was shaking afterwards. He pushed beyond all reason. Which is what I need. So after watching Losing It, working my butt off, and eating really good, little to no grazing, and being active all last week I was feeling pretty good. Well we head over to Academy to get a heart rate monitor and a scale. So we can keep track of my heart rate during work outs and have a more consistent way to track my weight loss. I decided to get some new work out shorts since I really don't have any. Couldn't figure out what size I needed, so I decided to try them on. WHAT A MISTAKE. Its work out shorts... shouldn't be too big of a deal right? UGH!!! The majority of them didn't fit, the bigger ones hung funny, the smaller sizes were too snug. Oh it was a nightmare!! and all I could see in the mirror was my belly! That flabby thing that just snuck up on me and I hate looking at it. Self-esteem down the drain. Not looking good.

Moving on to scales. Greg thought it would be a good idea to google scales while I just figured I'd try them all. What could it hurt more? I mean I'm already feeling fat, bloated, and gross. So I start taking scales off the rack and one by one tried them out. The good news is that my weight ranged from 233 to 128. So theoretically I lost 4lbs!!!!! YIPPIE!!! We finally chose one and brought it home. After much trial and error of programing it my weight came out to 228lbs. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow morning and use that as my official starting weight and go from there. The scale I used at the gym wasn't that reliable and was never consistent when my husband used it. Hopefully this one will be better.

Oh and I found "Cook This Not that" I about squealed!!! Hopefully I'll find some good recipes and makeover my kitchen.

Week 2 Day 1 The Ugly Truth

So week one was a success in my book. I managed to work out 4 days, take good healthy snacks to work, and I'm Dr. Pepper free for one week. Plus my water intake has definitely gone up. Not to mentioned my grazing has gone down a lot as well. I did graze a little last night, but not nearly as much as I have in the past, plus I found myself stopping and saying NO! Think of the calories that would just be adding up. Also I did make an appointment with the doctor to get the facts about where my body is at and what I should focus on. It's not until July 9th, so hopefully I'll have made some progress by then so it'll be a positive trip.....hopefully.

My one down fall, reading! I was going to read the Abs Diet for Women but have not touched it. I did however pick up "Eat This Not That Supermarket Survival Guide." OK first of all if you have never heard of the "Eat This Not That" books go out and buy one right away. Its this amazing book that breaks down restaurants, supermarkets, and everything telling you what is good to eat and not to eat, and helpful tips on how to order or what to look for. I love it. Some of the comparison are a bit startling and scary realizing exactly how many calories you are consuming. Anyways, I usually just skim thru the books and find things that I like. Now I'm actually reading the book and taking the information seriously. For Example did you know that " We consume 450 calories a day from beverages, nearly twice as many 30 years ago, This increase amounts to an extra 23 pounds a year." Or that "the average piece of chicken has 266% more fat than it did in 1971, while its protein content has dropped by a third" Which means today's chicken is higher in fat that protein. Lastly, "the average salty snack portion has increased by 93 calories and soft drink portions have increased by 49 calories which means if you indulge in one bag of chips and one soda everyday you will add 14 pounds of fat to you in one year. Thats crazy!!!!!! So I'm going to finish reading this book, and then hopefully move on to Abs Diet for Women and get some sort of food/diet plan going. I figure a good start is just making better food choices.

Ok now for the hard part. To track my progress I have measured my entire body and even took a picture that is a harsh reality of what I'm dealing with. So here is The Ugly Truth

Neck: 15.75"
Upper Arm: 14.5"
Chest: 42.5"
Breast line: 43.5"
Waist: 41.5"
Hips and Butt: 49.5"
Upper Thigh: 29.75
Calf: 18"




There you have it kids.

I didn't make it to the gym today to weigh myself so I'll have my starting weight tomorrow. Hopefully it will have improved from my 237 I had last week.

Week 1 Day 5-7

Where to begin???

Ok lets start with Thursday, talk about busy day. I spent most of the day running around and had very little time to get anything or everything done.

I did go out get some good healthy snack food to take with me to work. And I did really good. I managed to not drink any soda, stuck to water and ate my snacks. Didn't do a bit of grazing. Until I got off work. You see the problem is that my snacks just didn't keep my full and by the end of the night I was still hungry. So what did I do when I got home? I made a frozen dinner. It was one of those Bertollie dinners, lots of pasta and creamy sauce. Absolutely terrible, and I might have topped things off with some garlic bread. Definitely a weak point in my journey.

Moving on to Friday, another day filled with errands combined with going into work early equals no time for a work out. This time I was working an event at the zoo. You see the event is basically a fundraiser, and they get restaurants from around the city to come out and bring a sample of their food. So its basically a buffet of really good food. I might have circled the area and got a few samplings. The only good things I did was not eat any of the desserts that were being offered. However, since it was so freaking hot out I didn't have much of an appetite even though i got a bunch a food I ended up not eating as much as I liked cause I was so hot. Which I guess was a good things, but not a step in the right direction.

Now its saturday, and I was determined to do some sort of a workout. Thankfully, the night before I talked my friend rachel into going walking with me. We use to walk about 2 times a week but that kinda fizzed out, but we're trying to bring it back. So we met up and walked in the HOT HOT sun. We managed to survive and got a good three miles in, although the heat just about killed me. Work was a success as well, i brought snacks, only drank water and managed to not graze at all. I did however go out with my friends after work and had a slice of pizza. That was because my snacks just didn't cut it and I was super hungry.

So here is my problem, I work during "dinner time" so eating before work will only last so long. I'm still hungry when I get off work, even with me bringing food to work it still doesn't help. So do I change my snacks? This is what I took, strawberries, blueberries, nut mixture of almonds, cashews, and pistachios, and some laughing cow cheese. Do I need to pack more of a meal when I pack my snacks? I'm not much into snack/protein bars but I'll give it a try if it'll keep me full longer.

It is definitely much more difficult to stick to any sort of diet, healthy eating, workout routine, while I'm working, The hardest part is that I'm working nights, so I get off late and sleep in late. Attempting to get up early after working so late is extraordinarily difficult. Which leave me little time to get up, get whatever I need to get done before I have to go back to work. Working the restaurant life is not an easy one.

We shall see how tonight goes.

Week 1 Day 4

THANK YOU!!!!


I got some really great encouragement and tips and it really made me feel better. Knowing people out there are fighting the same fight and willing to encourage others.

Also I was somewhat successful at work. I manage to stay away from the soda machine and didn't graze one bit. However, I didn't go to work prepared with good healthy snacks and was UBER hungry by the time I got home. I might have made myself some late night nacho's. But its baby steps...I use to go to work drink soda like crazy, graze, and then go home and make a late night snack. So I was 2/3 successful. Right?

So yesterday when I was in the gym my right leg started to hurt beyond all reason...which come to find out I have shin splints. I think its just in my right leg. My left leg doesn't seem to be having the same pain. Which also means I need to lay off the running and strenuous activities for lower legs until the pain is gone

Here's the hard part, my husband is in the middle of his work week, and he works graveyard. Which essentially means, he leaves for work at night, comes home in the morning, sleeps a few hours, works his side job, gets a quick workout in goes back to bed then back to work. So I pretty much don't see him, and the gym we work out in is at his work so I can't get in unless he's there. Well during his work week I'm in the middle of mine going to into work around 4pm and getting home till 11pm or later. So he's too tired to work me out, and doesn't have the time to fit time in for me to get to the gym. So I'm on my own.

I have very few options, running/walking or yoga....I have a yoga dvd I've used once. I'm making it a goal to use it more often. Its simple right, just get off my butt and go walk or just do some yoga, the yoga is probably what will help me the best especially when I'm trying to recover from shin splints.. Well finding the motivations and time is what gets me. When I'm working I just don't want to do anything, and I don't have my husband to be accountable to. I need to find someone who will get after me on my work days to get off my butt and do something. I've considered joining a gym, but I've failed miserably the last two time when I joined. I think I only went a few times and let them just suck their monthly fee's out of me. I don't want to join and pay money until I know for sure I'll make the best of it. I want to lose weight not money.

So here is my game plan to get me thru my work week (My work week is usually wednesday thru sunday- Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of M-F 9-5 job.)

Today-Rest and go shopping, I looked thru my fridge and realized I need to buy some better food, good snack stuff to take with me to work. Help combat hungry and keep me from bingeing when I get home from work.

Friday-Get up-do yoga-and go to work

Saturday-Get up-walk maybe run-and go to work

Sunday-Get up, relax and probably clean the house

Monday-Really kick start my weight lost journey. I'm going to post my starting weight. My before pics (they may be a little scary) take measurements of my whole body, and start some sort of food journal in my blog. I figure if I'm letting the world know what I'm eating I'll want to make better choices.

Good plan right?

Week 1 Day 3

Today was a sad day.....

I stepped on the scale today. Talk about reality hitting me upside the head. The evil scaled weighed me in at 237.4lbs!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

I have never been this big. I definitely need to get my act together if I want to even come close to my high school weight, or just a weight that makes me smile when I step on the scale.

Even though I worked my butt off in the gym it just doesn't feel like its working. I need to find some motivation and encouragement.

What makes things even worse I have to work tonight and face the evil cone cups of doom. Cause having this terrible realization means I need to quit soda IMMEDIATELY. Damn you Dr. Pepper and your delicious 23 flavors.

Must resist grazing.

I also need good suggestion of snacks to take with me on the go or at work that taste good, easy to carry/ out together.

Ok Abs diet for women I'm ready to start taking you serious.

Week 1 Day 2

Confession: My thighs rub together.

Thus the reason why I wear pants on a regular basis and very rarely wear skirts, dresses, and shorts.

Lets take a walk down memory lane. Many moons ago I use to go to camp....NOT band camp! It was a typical camp where each week is a different age group, doing typical camp things, ropes course, nature activities, sports, crafts, etc. At the age of 13 one can stay at camp and be a "junior staffer" which basically means you volunteer to help keep the camp clean. Cleaning dishes, bathrooms, maintenance etc. All of us junior staffers stay in the farmhouse, work, hang out and just have fun. At the end of every night our staff parents would get us together for a nightly devotion. Which usually ends with prayer request of all sorts. Well one night, Chris, raised his hand for a prayer request. You see Chris is a big kid, and had an unusual request. In all his seriousness, requested prayer for his thighs. Because he was so big, his thighs had a tendency to rub together. And in the hot summer walking around a hot kitchen cleaning dishes tended to make his legs rub together quit a bit and get to the point where the skin got irritated, became red, and bled. It was a rather awkward moment because he was being serious and probably in a lot of pain, but it was an usual prayer request and most difficult for teens to keep from snickering. You felt bad but kinda glad that was something you never had to worry about....Don't worry it gets better.

Every night for our devo's the older staffers take turns leading the staff in a devotion. Chris volunteered for one night, and he used his bleeding thighs as an example for his devotion. So to aid him in his explanation he had his friend Katie reenact his pain. From walking around to the kitchen, slowing down, showing pain in the thighs and the upset realizing they are bleeding. It was most comical cause Katie was about 5'9" and weighed maybe 120lbs. So it was fun to watch a skinny girl try to act out a fat kids pain. Needless to say Chris was always a good sport about his weight. He even named his fat legged condition. I can't remember now, but he really wanted it to become a legitimant condition something recorded in a medical journal.

Ok back to today, No my legs are not that big that they rub together and bleed, but I'm sure I'm 20lbs away from that being a problem. Right now they just rub time to time and get a little irritated. Remembering Chris' pain is a good reminder to me to get in shape before I have bleeding thighs.

Today, I did cardio and just about died. First of all I made the mistake of wearing slightly too short shorts. I chose them because they had pockets and I need somewhere to put my ipod. Which seemed like a good idea cause I would be running so fewer the clothes, less wind resistance, stay cooler longer.....not so much. I was on a treadmill and sweating beyond all reason. Then the shorts just didn't sit right and basically turned into camel toe and in a weird position, but if I tried to fix it my thigh would rub and that was no bueno. So I felt a bit awkward while running, thankfully my husband was the only other one in the gym so I didn't look like a fool to anyone else. If you are at all confused at what I'm talking about you're too skinny. Chubby girls around the world will know what I'm talking about.

Since I am training to run a 5K I figured I would start some of my training today. While reading my guide to training for a 5K, it was a basic interval training of walking, then running, then walking. They suggest starting with a brisk walk and move up to a run from there. Well, since I lived in NYC for a year I've got brisk walk down to a T, its the running I need to work on. Before, today when I would go to the gym (which was about once a week if I'm lucky) I would do some interval training of sprinting for 20 seconds, walk for 40 seconds, etc. Well, I figured I would work on my endurance and run for a minute walk for a minute, so I can work up to running for minutes at a time....maybe one day for a full hour straight. That's a big dream for me. Well, the sprinting training was working cause I would be good for about 30 seconds and then want to quit, and I wasn't even sprinting just jogging. So I would find myself running and telling myself think of being a size 8, no tummy, extra energy, being able to shop in my favorite stores. BUT what really kept me running, the music I was listening to, the skinny bitches like Gaga, Britney, Beyonce, Katie Perry, and christina, and they would make me want to get fit. Make a music video and kick ass on youtube. Well I'll need to learn how to sing first, but in the mean time, use their music as a motivation to keep working out.

I'm sure that teeters on the line of media influencing me to fit this skinny obsessed with image body type. I'm sure those girls work hard to get the body they have and maintain that body. I think as long as I keep a good balance of wanting a hot, fit body, while maintaining a healthy lifestyle I'll achieve the goal and not turning into an insecure girl. I want to get thin and fit, but won't do anything drastic....thats because I love food too much to give it up or throw it up.

Tomorrow, more weight training....if I can pull myself out of bed.

Week 1 Day 1

So today (yesterday) was not too bad. Got up, had a decent breakfast and then the fun began. You see I've been having some sort of allergic reaction to something (I'm pretty sure its the Dog but my husband loves the dog too much for me to blame it on the dog.). So this morning i notice a small amount of hives on my belly and I had been sneezing like crazy, so I took a benadryl. My husbanded headed to the gym, and when he was done he would let me know and then I would meet up with him and then he would put me thru a work out.

So I sat done to watch a little TV and fold some laundry. You know get the house a little picked up before I headed out. Well, next thing I know I'm passed out on the couch and had no idea I fell asleep. So i freak out cause I didn't do anything and my husband was going to call me soon. I began to rush around the house and try to get everything together for my work out. I realize I can't find my phone anywhere. I look around find it right in front of me and then set it down again making a mental note where it is. Now I can't find my sports bra, look every and then I find in the first place i look. I finish getting stuff together and look for my phone wondering if my husband called. I can't find it again, so i grab the house phone and call it....can't hear it all. I begin to freak I know i just had it. I know I put somewhere I wouldn't forget. I start to running around the house, then the dog gets up and there it is the dog was laying on it. The entire time I'm running around the house I'm wondering why am I so out of it and tired.....DUH!!! I took a benadryl....man that thing got the best of me.

So I finally, sit down and think maybe I should sleep this off. Nope thats when my husband calls ready to work out. So I drag myself to the gym and proceeded to have my butt kicked. But when I'm done, I actually feel good. I'm drained and tired, but I feel like I could conquer the world.

Now according to Men's health the best thing to have after a workout is chocolate milk. It's the perfect balance of protein and sugar. A good recovery drink. Unfortunately we were out it, so I settled for PB and J and milk. Which is a rather healthy considering my kitchen is slowing turning into "organic, whole grain, natural" kitchen. I used the rudy's multi-oat bread which actually tastes good for whole grain bread, and according the "Eat this Not that" supermarket guide its the best choice for bread. Then I used natural peanut butter and natural jam, I've become a label reader and looking for the things with the fewer ingredients just the real stuff. To wash it down I had a tall glass of Horizon Organic milk!!! I love that stuff, if you haven't tried it you should. Its a good start to making over your fridge.

So far so good! Then it was date night with the hubbs. Thats when it went down hill!!! We ate out and just kinda pigged out. Probably shouldn't have but it was good food and I was hungry. We did manage to skip dessert. After dinner we headed to the movies. We had time to kill and discussed getting custard, but we decided we had already ate too much and don't need the extra calories. So we prevailed and resisted the custard.

So I did not call the doctor, but have till the end of the week to get that scheduled.

I did find my first "healthy" book to read. Abs Diet for Women. My husband bout it a while a go but I never fully read it. So I figured I start with that instead of spending more money a book when I have one at home I haven't read.

Oh and I found a really good training program for training for a 5k.

The Start

It was a typical weekend, getting ready to go out with the girls and looking for something to wear. Going thru the usual ritual of trying on several different outfits until I find the one that works. Except this time, going thru the outfits was NOT because it didn't match, or NOT the right color, or I did NOT have the proper accessories, it was because I had become TOO BIG for my clothes. Pants are tighter than normal, shirts just don't hang like they use to, and everywhere I look there is this little bit of pudge sticking out. Just a bloated day I would tell myself. But before I knew it my wardrobe was warping into flowy items and much larger sizes. Next thing I know shopping in "normal" store is becoming more difficult and I'm finding myself looking online for sizes I never thought I would need to buy. WHAT HAPPENED???

So here I am verging on the edge of shopping at plus size stores and wondering where my body wondered off too.

My body wondered off when I found myself sucked into TV, deep fried goodness, and grazing. Yes grazing, I work in a restaurant and the biggest temptation working is graving off the back lines. Food just there waiting to be consumed by paying customers. Yet employees get to it first. Grabbing a bite here and bite there something to keep hunger down while running all over the restaurant. Then, there is the soda machine with the evil cone cups of sugary doom. You see, for the non restaurant working person, in the back next to the soda machine are cone cups for the servers to use when they are thirsty. Just grab a cup fill it up with your soda of choice take a swig and move on. It's an attempt to keep servers from using glassware and to go cups. But those cups are so deceiving cause you think it is just a little swig of soda, no harm before you know it you're grabbing one every time you go to the back and have no idea of how much soda you're consuming. Then, I'm working crazy hours, never up at the same time any day and going to bed at odd hours of the night. Also when I get off work I can't just fall asleep I need to unwind and I'm usually hungry. What is there available at 1am to eat that is not fast food or diners? Who wants to get done serving people food all day just to go home and make food and serve yourself? It is an evil battle I am facing.

As I got sucked into reality TV I found myself balling during Biggest Loser episodes and telling myself I can do that. But instead of working out, I'm sitting on the couch watching people fight the battle I need to be fighting. Hearing trainer tips go in one ear and out the other. I keep telling myself I can do this, but then finding myself online wondering if I qualify for the show, but don't think I'm big enough. Then the whole maybe I should just let myself get bigger so i could qualify for the show? But what if I don't? Gambling extra weight to get on a reality TV show is not a good strategy.

So what is my strategy? I don't know. What I do know....I need to get off the couch. Aside for my blog updates. Where to start? That is the question. Goals are always a good starting point. So I have to set a few short term goals and will try to accomplish my goals one week at a time. As the weeks go by I will update you cyber world, on my progress as a way to be accountable to something.

Short term Goals:

1. Run a 5k

2. Post 2 new things I've learn about healthy eating every week.

3. Get into my "skinny jeans"

Week 1 Goals: (June 13th-19th)

1. Schedule a physical and get the painful truth of how unhealthy I've become.

2. Start running

3. Find a "healthy, diet, make you hot in 6 weeks" book to read (Confession: I stink at reading)

Next Week I will give an update on the journey. Feel free to leave encouragement and suggestions for reading materials or tips of some sort.