Two Steps Forward One Step Backwards

So I thought it had only been two weeks since the last time I blogged, yeah it's been 4 weeks. Therefore, my goal of blogging once a week has failed miserably. However, I am happy to report I am making progress in my new journey. Well progress in some areas and not so much in others. 

Step 2:  Create my own home.

That has not gone so well. Lack of job equals lack of money. Now I know there are plenty of women out there who make beautiful home decor designs on a penny. Also, there is this wonderful website called "Pinterest" that gives you hundreds of money saving ideas. So I should utilize it. Well finding motivation, time, and energy to decorate my home is lost in another world. I have decided to wait until I feel I have more of this" stay at home mom" stuff under control and have properly gotten our new income/budget under control. 

Step 3: Get healthy. 

I am happy to report I have successfully lost 5lbs. I wish it was more, but I am happy with my results. I am making it to a minimum of two crossfit classes a week. Some weeks 3 times and one week 4 times. Eating has gotten better but not great. I am still terribly addicted to Dr Pepper and have not 100% cut grains and sugar out of my diet. I am hoping to average 2-3lb lost a week. My weight lost battle has been an ongoing battle for many years. I have come to realize that even if I get to my goal weight the battle will not be over. So for this step my motto is "slow and steady wins the race." So one step closer to a healthier me.

Step 4: Doing Stuff Outside the House with Ollie. 

We have been to Big Splash, blueberry picking, and the park. It's been great, but the past two days we have been home and having two days of just me and her at home have been wonderful. I get morning snuggles, afternoon naps, and evening cuddling to let me know she is ready for bed. I never thought I would love those things but I do. It reaffirms I made the right choice. I still have days where I miss working full time, but getting to snuggle with Ollie or sleep in because she does, makes it all worth it.

Working on steps 2-4 has kept me busy. For now I will continue to in my journey and try to keep you updated on a more regular basis. 

Step 1 done.

Well I am finally a SAHM. My last day was a week ago and it's had been a rocky start. I was actually pretty emotional about leaving, it was a job I loved and I loved the people I was working with. My first two days at home were uneventful and unproductive. I slept when Ollie slept, and basically just chilled and did as little as possible. By Thursday night I was  ready to go back to work or find something to keep my brain stimulated. I do not sit still very well. The weekend came and it was full of running errands and seeing family. Once I was finally out and about I got motivated to focus on my new life. I think the best part was that I had time to plan my menu for the week, create a grocery list, and have stuck to what I have planned to eat. Part of me feels lame for that being considered a highlight, but its all part of my new journey. So Step 1 is done, on to Steps 2,3&4. I do know how many steps are in my journey, but I am taking them day by day.

Step 2: Create my new home.

Last night I did some major cleaning. Being a working mom cleaning took a backseat to most things I was lucky to get everything cleaned once a month. I know I know I know that seems gross. I did clean throughout each week, but things like dusting, sweeping, and washing  happened when I had time or I could see the dirt. So this morning it was such a relief to get up and chill in my living room and not have to look at layers of dust or piles of stuff that got pushed out of the way until I could get to it. 

I have started two To Do lists. One is for small things that just need to be done and will help keep my home organized and clean. The other is a DIY/Pinterest list of stuff to decorate my home and have it not feel so bare. My goal is to tackle one item a day from the first list and to attempt one item a week from the second list. 

My first goal is to find or make a dry erase board with my lists and goals.

Step 3: Get Healthy.

I successfully made it to 3 cross fit classes last week. All three kicked my butt. It was worth it though, lately I have only been able to make it once a week. So my goal is to make it 3 times a week and on days I cannot make it, attempt to do the work outs at home, or run. I have made a pact with a friend to run a 5k in October. So I should probably start now. 

Since I had time to plan, shop, and cook my eating has made a major improvement. We are eating about 80% paleo 10% bad and 10% somewhere inbetween. So my goal is to kick my Dr Pepper addiction and completely cut out carbs. I have done it before I can do it again. 

Step 4: Doing stuff with Ollie outside of the house. 

I know since its summer a lot of place are on break. However, I want to find 2 or 3 activities Ollie and I can get involved in. Like gymnastics, soccer, museums, etc. I know they are out there, it just a matter of taking the time to find them, sign up, and add them to my calendar. It's a great way to get us out of the house, and opportunity for Ollie to learn. 

My final goal, blog once a week. The blogger app will definitely help with that. 

The Start of a new Journey

Annnnnnd I'm back.

Ok so to all of my faithful followers out there, if there are any out there I'm back. Hopefully I'll be back for good and will be blogging on a much regular basis.

Let’s get caught up!

So the last time I blogged was back in 2011 when I was pregnant and wondering what the future will hold for me and my new family. Well, we had our little girl! And she is just perfect! I don't want to brag but I am just in love with her. This past year and half has been a whirlwind of babies, working and finding my grip on reality.

The new Title

For those of you who noticed the new title to my Blog is "Day by Day" It comes from one of my favorite musicals "Godspell." It is a very simple song where the followers of Christ sing about living their life day by day and only praying for three things; to follow, to love, and to see. It's the simplicity of the song that really speaks to me. With having a family, working, and life you tend to get caught up in everything and it all just seems so complicated. In reality life is very simple, we complicate things. So in my new endeavor to blog and starting a new journey in my life my first step is to simplify and take everything day by day.

The New Journey

What is the new Journey I am talking about? Glad you asked. This will be a journey of steps, some small some big.

Step 1: Quit my job

I have officially quit my job. That right I will no longer be a "Full-Time" Working mom. This has been the HARDEST decision of my life. I am sure I will have to make hard decisions in the future and some may be harder than this one, but this one will stand out to me. For some, this is not a hard decision, for some, this is not a decision but a need.
Do I want to be a "Stay at home mom?"
No.
But you quite your job?
Yes, I did. I recognize that I cannot do both, work and be a mom. I also recognize that my child needs me at home.
Do I think all moms should be stay at home moms?
NO.
In fact I applaud every mom out there who works and takes care of her family. Being a mom is one of the toughest most underpaid jobs out there. So to find a balance between work and home and make things work and properly raise your child is a very large task that only some can handle. If the circumstances were different and I could find a better balance than yes I would consider going back to full time work. I will continue to work and it will be part time. However, I will be working in a job where I have the flexibility of hours and ability to take time off without have to mess up other peoples schedules or jobs. At my current job I held a lot of responsibility and was not in a position to have the flexibility needed to work and be a mom. Though, I am still working my focus will be on my child and work will be fit in when possible.

Step 2: Create my home.

I do not know what “my home” is. Right now I just have boxes, hand me down furniture mixed with a few new things, and stuff everywhere. My walls are bare, and my house is barely organized. I want to create my home, a place where my husband can come home and rest and get away from the craziness of his job. Someplace where, after time away my daughter longs to be home because there is no place like home. A place where friends walk and know this is a home. This will take work and creativity because of course I decide to do this after I quite my job and taking a HUGE pay cut. I had a friend say something to me that made sense; you either have money or time. I will have time, so I will have time to hunt for good bargains, to sell unwanted crap on craigslist, and time to be a DIY. I will use pinterest as an idea, and not measure of how good I’m doing.

Step 3: Get healthy

My wonderful husband has introduced me to the wonderful world of Paleo. I have to admit I’m hooked! I love the recipes, I love how I feel when I stick to the diet, and I love the results. I feel on some level my job has gotten in the way of eating more healthy. However, the real thing that has gotten in the way is my laziness. When I am home from a long day at work and have nothing prepared my will power to power thru and cook is out the window and the idea of take out is so comforting. I know I will have crazy days and take out will be ideal, but the lack of income and my new determination for health will need to prevail for me to stay on target and on budget.

I also joined a crossfit gym. I love it. It is exactly what I have been looking for in a gym. Well in finding a new motivation for getting in shape. I love the work outs, I love the people, and I love how I feel after I work out. I will still have the challenge of making time and finding a sitter, but I am determined. My goal is to by the end of the summer either run a 5K or do something that is benchmark worthy.

So my dear friends my new journey starts, I will do my best to keep you updated.

It's a........

Confession: I really wanted a boy!!!


I'm not going to lie I was pretty bummed when the ultrasound tech said girl. However, I do have a small bit of hope, it took the tech a while to figure out the gender and even still it wasn't too clear. I'm going in again in a week to take another look, and hopefully then we will know for sure. As much as I am secretly hoping it's a boy, I have to come to terms with the fact that it is a girl. I think my sister is more excited that I'm having a girl than I am, I think part of that is because she wanted boys and wound up with two girls, so now that she has them she is more excited to see someone else have a girl. Something about already having girls makes her appreciate them even more. So I would like to make one clear statement to all of my friends and family!

"Absolutely NO bows, ribbons, tut-tu's, excessive amounts of pink, frilly dresses, or anything that screams girly girl!!!!!!!"

I do realize that when it comes to having a girl the amount of pink that is available is insane. So I know that I'm sure it'll be very hard to find non-pink or purple items and that I will receive my fair share of these colors. Lets try to keep it to a minimum. Also I am blessed to have a wonderful sister who has two girls worth of clothing, so I'm sure baby anderson will have plenty of clothes so I'll be more concerned with getting other items, like toys, passies, teething things, you know functional stuff.

Ok I'll stop my moaning about how I don't want girly stuff. I've never been a girly kind of girl. I do have my moments but I could live happily ever after in jeans and hoodies.

I have some more good news, I got a job!!! HOORAY!!!! I feel like I can breathe again. We have been able to live, but things have been tight and the amount of stress had been growing. I feel like I can finally relax and just enjoy life and start to enjoy the fact that I'm pregnant. I had a hard time being happy about being knocked up. It felt like a constant reminder that all the stress in my life was all because of me getting pregnant. Though it may have been the straw that broke the camels back, some of the things going on in my life were bound to happen. It just coincided with the pregnancy. So now the goal is to get caught up financially (we wouldn't be so behind but our lovely car has officially turned into a money pit), which shouldn't take long and then start getting things ready for the baby. Putting together the nursery, getting baby items, and really just be ready when the baby arrives.

I'm sure the big question will be the baby's name. I haven't decided if I want to make that public knowledge. However, when we do decide I'm sure my husband will tell you. He's not a fan of keeping secrets and surprises. So it may not be public on fb but I'm sure you'll be able to find out the name, that is if we can agree on one.

I've had time to think

Confession: I am not excited about being pregnant.

I know I know I know I know....How could that be? I will be excited. It's going to be a process.

When I found out that I am pregnant my life did a total 180, I thought that the 180 would happen over time, nine months to be exact. Instead it practically happened over night, I went from employed, busy, and not worried about money, to unemployed, sick, broke, and depressed. Let me expound,

The surge of hormones in my body affected everything in my life and completely caught me off guard. It definitely affected my ability to work. Maintaining the control over my emotions went out the window, and I found myself halfway out the window trying to get my control back. I very quickly realized in a fast pace work environment I could not get a grip over night. Between the emotions and the sickness working full time and in a restaurant was no longer an option. I had to move on find something less stressful, fewer hours, and fewer smells. I know I can handle a job, the one I had wasn't one I could handle.

Quitting meant seeing my work friends less. Also since I am pregnant I can no longer hang with my friends like I use to. First of all they usually don't get off work till late at night and usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning. Since I was so sick waiting until after 10pm to see friends was not an option. Feeling well enough during the day to see friends? Not so much, Quitting was more than just losing my job, but it also meant losing a part of my social life. Which isn't terrible because it opened the door for a different social life. What stinks is that I never maintained friendships outside of work. I was too busy to see my friends who worked a 9-5 weekends off kind of jobs. I worked in the evenings and every weekend and holiday. So I lost my work social life and discovered I didn't have any other social life. So I'm feeling awful, my life and body are drastically changing and I don't know who to talk to? Even if I had kept my friends most of them are single and probably can't relate to a married pregnant girl?

So losing my incoming meant putting buying a house on hold. It also turned into more stress in my marriage. Now it is all on my husband to bring in the money. I had hoped to find a part time less crazy job, or a job that is somewhat closer to what I want to do in life. However, I have not found a job, and really haven't gotten much response from putting my resume out there...kinda not helping with the whole self esteem. Since my income is gone my husband now is working more so we can still try to buy a house which means him working more and me seeing him less, more stress on the marriage.

By now I am losing all motivation to move forward. I have found myself consumed with Netflix and wondering where my life is going?

I kept on saying to myself if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would not be in this slump. The fact is the slump was inevitable. I was no longer happy at my job, and did not have the motivation to move onto to something better. We have always wanted to buy a house but have not been strict enough with our finances to get our act together to buy a house. I was so consumed by my job and how unhappy I was I never bothered to cultivate relationships outside of work. I was slowly moving backwards. Getting pregnant should have been a wake up call but instead was an excuse for me to dive straight into the slump!!!

It has taken two months, losing friends, and no response from employers to make me realize that maybe I need to change. I am changing whether I like it or not. My body is changing and my whole life will change once my little one arrives.

So I have started reading 48 days to the work you love. Reading this book is turning into my wakeup call.

I must admit my husband is probably shocked I'm reading a book.

So I am waking up, figuring what is the "work I love?" In the meantime I'm trying to find some sort of job to keep me moving until I know what to do next. I am going to work on making relationships that will keep me accountable and encouraged. Ones that it doesn't matter what I'm doing in life they will still be there and we will make time for each other.

There are a few friends who have been with me through all of this and I am grateful to you!!! You are first on the list for me to strengthen our relationship.

It is time for me to grow up and find...me.

Officially into the Second Trimester

Confession: I'm tired of everything being so "common"


While doing research and learning about how my body is changing I'm learning everything that is "common" in a pregnancy is happening to me.

Morning Sickness: common occurrence during the first trimester. Which I knew about and figured since my sister had pretty bad morning sickness so I figured I would probably have the same problem. Needless to say it was a nightmare. Everything I smelt made me want to vom everywhere. Not to mention my diet got stripped down to what stays down, and what comes up nicely. However, I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, second trimester (commonly known for the sickness going away)

Heartburn: Yeah that common and I get it quit a bit. Looks like I'll be adding tums to my diet. They say its a sign my baby has a lot of hair....but I don't think that much hair has developed yet.

Constipation: Another common thing that happens during pregnancy. This one I was not aware of...(because my research has been put on hold due to the fact that I was busy hanging out with Mr. Toilet) So one day I have the common urge to use the restroom. While chilling in the Reasor's bathroom I'm wondering why this is taking longer than normal and why things are not just moving the way they should. Finally, I give up and rush home. Mainly because my business wasn't done and I wanted to finish at home. Hours later, after much consumption of water, fiber, and laxatives relief. However, it wasn't quit totally relief....two days later I FINALLY got my system cleared out. Even though my system was clear I managed to clog the toilet. Thinking that was rough but glad it's over, boy was I wrong. So now my diet has changed to an increase in water intake, fiber and laxatives.

Belly Pains: There is a technical term for it I can't remember, the pain you feel while your uterus is stretching. I hope this will only last for a short time, but between the constipation pains and uterus stretching my stomach is in constant pain.

For one week I would like to be pregnant and not have to deal with all the "common" things that happen during pregnancy.

Why I have fallen off the planet for a while

Confession: I'm knocked up!!!!


I will take a moment while you are done pulling your jaw up off the floor, screaming, re-reading my confession, and for some crying.



Yes the rumors are true I am preggers. Which is why I dropped the ball on the whole weight loss challenge. I will say though I have lost weight since I got pregnant not because I was trying but more because I can't keep anything down. So to all my fans trying to lose weight I would like to say keep going!!! Just because my journey is on hold shouldn't make you stop. Once I have had the baby and can workout again I will be back not only to lose baby weight but get to my goal weight.

I'm considering changing my blog to "Confessions of Pregnant Girl" cause life has taken a drastic turn for me. Because of my pregnancy I've had to quit my two jobs, restaurants plus,super sonic pregnant nose, plus, nausea, equals no more food industry for faith. I find myself wanting to comment on how things are so different for me. I am EMOTIONAL.....I am emotional at everything!!! I cry at commercials, movies like transformers (who does that?) and when I do watch something that makes the average girl cry I'm a wreck. Then I get upset so easily, and then I want love, then I'm laughing....I'm all over the place. I was in church and they asked the regular attendees to move to the overflow seating so the first time guest could have a seat in the sanctuary and the amount of people who jumped up to give up their seats sent me to tears!!! I mean the gesture was nice but to make me just start crying??? UGH!!! The hormones are slowly taking over.

The nausea is so intense!!!! I have been oh so sick. To the point that (Ok if you have a weak stomach you might want to stop reading) I have made a list of foods that come up easily and ones that don't, because I throw up that easily. Sometimes I feel like I throw up in courses....in reverse. One night I threw up my dessert thinking ok maybe I ate too much, but just when I thought I was in the clear up came dinner and then a little left over from lunch. One night I threw up ice cream which started my whole list of food that I would rather throw up than others. You see many moons ago while at camp my friend Nick Harris thought it would be a great dinner topic to ask "If you could throw up anything. What would it be?" Of course he had his response which was ice cream. He said i think it would be grand even if it came back right away so that it was still cold and creamy. He has a point!!! Ice cream comes back up wonderfully and usually tastes great. I had a friend say that throwing up blue gatorade came up great as well. So now I'm to the point of picking what I eat based on what comes up the best.

Ok enough puke talk for one day!

So some facts I'm sure everyone is dying to know.

I am 13 weeks

I am due Nov. 1ST

I do not know the sex

I'm sure I'll share the gender once I know

Why the wait to announce? Partly because I miscarried, but I've been so sick I'ver barely had time to formulate a blog between my meetings with the toilet.

Week 13 Day 3

Confession: Life has completely consumed me and I have fallen behind on my blog.

As you can tell from the lack of blogs I have not kept up with keeping you up with my weight loss journey. It has been a rough journey and I have definitely gone up and down throughout the whole journey. I'm back to 217lbs I can't seem to shake that number. So this is the last week for the weight loss challenge and I would just like to give a huge shout out to the girls participating in the challenge!!! You have been great, keeping me updated on your weight loss and sharing tips on what has worked for you. So girls you have four more days to push to the finish line!!! Can you do it? I believe in you!!!!

I would really like to go into some more details about life and what has been holding me back the past few weeks, but I'm not ready to dive into that just yet. Just know that I will. I feel as though I'm stepping into a new direction and when I'm ready I will share with you my dear readers.

Week 11 Day 3

Confession: I have fallen off the wagon.

I actually haven't gained a ton of weight or eaten a ton of crap food. I just got overwhelmed by life and the blog took a backseat to everything that is going on in my life. Having two jobs is more than I thought it was going to be. I've worked two jobs before and it had not been much of a problem....but I was single then and kinda did whatever I wanted. Now that I'm married spending time with my husband is a priority and there are things that he depends on me to do in my free time. You know, cook, clean, buy groceries. So when I started working both jobs and was only home to sleep things got pushed to the side. So I've had to re-prioritze my time and re-adjust how my day goes so I can get things done. He too does help out with things, but his help is different and his free time is less than mine. So needless to say life has been crazy.

For last week 3.14.11 I maintained at 217lbs
For this week 3.21.11 I lost a pound putting me at 216lbs.

215lbs is kinda of a wall for me. That is where I got to the last time I did this blog and couldn't get past that number. Then I had a personal tragedy happen and of course I ate to give myself comfort. Maybe this time I can break through.

Week 9 Day 1

Confession: I ate way too much cake yesterday!!!


Major props to my friend Rhonda who makes some amazing cakes!!!! It was sooooo good that my husband had 3 pieces!!!! I had one piece and picked off of what my husband ate. To all who know me....know I don't like cake. So to say that it was good and not only ate my whole piece and went for more says something.

This week was INSANELY busy so I was strapped for time to eat healthy. So I had a few meals that weren't too healthy. However, since I knew I was busy and had to find some way of keeping my eating under control I did a few little things. I did not eat late at night, I made it a point to eat something in the morning to get me going and I got lots of rest. Which was good cause I lost 1 pound this week!!! YIPPEE!!!

This weeks goal is to continue the no eating late at night, find a quick healthy meal on the go between jobs AND squeeze in a few work outs. I know they won't be the long ones I had been doing, but at least try to get in 20-30 min of cardio and 20-30 min of weights on a somewhat daily basis.

Week 8 Day 3

Confession: I managed to avoid eating late at night.


I got a second job....at a restaurant. I think I'm a gluten for punishment. Why do you ask? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why would I get another job that surrounds me with fatty food and temptation? I don't know. In fact I didn't think of it until I got the job and started training.

I wouldn't say I'm "disgruntled" with my current job, its more political, between changes being made to better the workplace (some good and some not so good) and the simple fact that there are really only two days a week to make money. I know my bosses are making changes to make things better, but it seems to not be better. Which has been causing much stress and thus emotional eating. I know a new job won't lessen the stress. However, the change and challenge of something new may keep from dwelling on the negative and keeping my focus on what is important.

So why another restaurant? Because the hunt for a real job is taking longer than I like and with business not where it needs to be, I need something until I can get a real job.

So my new second job was four days of training and tasting EVERY single item on the menu. I honestly thought I was going to explode. I tried so hard to eat as little as possible but that wasn't possible. So I focused on eating as clean as possible outside of work and tried to get as many work outs in as possible even if it as little as 25 minutes.

So this week I maintained, no gain no loss. I'm okay with it mainly because it's not a gain. This week my goal is to juggle my two jobs and find time to work out....and keep up the no late night eating.

Week 7 Day 3

Confession: I pigged out this weekend.


Which is why I gained a pound this week. I think because of my 3 pound loss I felt like i could eat whatever I wanted. Which is not true. I have to remember when I have a victory I can't celebrate with food. So now I'm looking for a replacement for celebrating. Pretty much I have an excuse to eat to for everything, stress, victories, losses, get togethers, special occasions everything. THIS SUCKS!!!! I eat for everything!!!!!! No wonder I have a hard time losing weight. Why can't I just be content and not feel like I have to eat when something goes right....or wrong.

I need to regroup and and get refocused!!!

I shall return with new motivation.

Week 6 Day 1

Confession: work got the best of me.

As you can tell I'm a day late....well a day and a half late. Valentines weekend got the best of me. This weekend was probably one of the busiest weeks of the year for my restaurant. I pretty much worked 10-12 hours a day starting Friday and ending Monday. My wonderful bosses thought it would be nice to bring us food, pizza, casadillas, cereal, chips, cookies, etc. Needless to say I was not prepared and of course ate all of the above at work. However, I worked out as much as possible before the weekend began and since I was so busy and practically running around the restaurant for 8-10 hours and because I was so busy I ate when I could and didn't pig out on the food. So magically I lost 3 pounds...I don't know how but I did.

So much has gone through my brain this week I don't know where to begin. So for now I'm going to celebrate my weight loss and put my thoughts together on a later day.

Week 5 Day 1

Confession: I haven't worked out in a week!!

That is because I have been snowed in for a week!!!! If there is anyone who isn't from OK and hasn't heard about the snow I'll give you a quick synopsis.
Monday: Forecast of 20" of snow....All of Tulsa freaks out and run to the store to buy anything and everything!!!
Tuesday: 12am the snow begins....and continues until about 6pm. Ending at a total of 14inches.
Wednesday: The city "attempts" to clear the roads.
Thursday: Roads are still not clear and the news is urging people to stay in.
Friday: The parking lot to my apartment complex is finally plowed only to have 6 more inches of snow fall.
Saturday: The "Main" roads are drive-able but the neighborhoods and side streets are still a mess.
Sunday: The wether is finally above freezing and the roads are finally drive-able.

Thankfully I went grocery shopping on Monday, mainly because it was my typical day to go shopping and though I didn't want to fight the crowds I did and got what groceries I could find. For the next two days I was cooped up in my house with nothing to do but play online, watch TV and eat. As you can tell I am snowed in, unable to work out and fighting the urge to eat our of boredom!!! When I finally got out of the house (only to go to work) I was faced with the being bored at work and eating out of boredom there. So it was a rough week for me. I also found myself wanting to go to the gym...I don't know if it was because I was looking for a reason to get out of the house or if I really did miss working out.

In the middle of snow week one of my friends texted me with a question that got me thinking. "How do you combat emotional eating when you are snowed in?" I didn't have an answer...I did feel her pain though. I have been there stuck at home with nothing to do and want to eat cause I'm bored, or upset with whoever is in the house with me, or find out something stressful but can't do anything because you are stuck. All you do is just wander through the kitchen and stare at the fridge, freezer, pantry until you find something to ease the pain. So I put it to serious thought....how do I fight this? What should I do? My only saving grace this week was that my kitchen was full of healthy food, so anytime I did want to eat it was healthy, because I had no other options. What I realized it's not the fight in the moment its what you do that leads up to that moment. It's the baby steps I've been taking over the past six months that have made me strong enough to fight emotional eating. So to my readers out there who are fighting the same battle here are the baby steps that I have taken to help me fight emotional eating.

1. Kitchen Makeover: Ok so its not quite a baby step but if you have the money and will power get a trash bag and go through you're entire kitchen. Read each label and look for things that are bad for you like HFCS, words you don't understand in the ingredients, large calorie amounts per serving, preservatives etc. Buy the book "Eat This, Not That; Supermarket Survival Guide" read it then make your shopping list and go shopping on a full stomach.
2. Start saying "NO": I know that seems weird but you have got to start saying "No" to things. For example I've started saying "No" to go out with friends after work. I was spending too much money and eating way too much crap. However, there are the times when saying no is not an option. Just be prepared and try to plan ahead.
3. Find a new outlet for stress: I haven't quit found it yet, but trying different things has helped. Because I am trying new things, I'm eating less emotionally. I still have weak moments when I know I am emotional and finding an outlet doesn't work and I need something. Therefore the emotional eating has gone down...and I'm aware of it. Before I would just chow through a pizza, bag of chips, etc and not even realize it.
4. Working out: I know I need to work out to stay in shape and help with my weight loss. However, I have found when I do work out I eat less emotionally. It's not the perfect cure because there are moments when emotions are through the roof and I can't just drop everything and run to the gym.
5. Accountability: Doing this on my own has been near impossible. Being able to talk to others in the same situation as me has given me the motivation to lose weight. Also, making it a point to post my weight on a weekly basis, being in the challenge and having to be accountable to the other competitors keeps me in check.

I know they don't seem like baby steps but they are, I started out by breaking them down even more. For example saying "No" to friends started with saying "No" once a week and I built up from there. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not being anti social, I am just saying "No" to things that I know would cause me to eat more than I should...or eat crap I shouldn't be eating) I've also had to start saying "No" when I'm out and offered various things...or cut the evening short when I know it's going to turn into food fest at IHOP. Another baby step was making my goal to work out twice a week. What would happen I would get all excited about working out and go for a whole week, then get sore and bummed that I didn't lose 10 lbs and stop all together. When I started just making it a point to get to the gym on a weekly basis I found myself going more often and wanting to go more than twice a week.

It was taking these baby steps that kept me from going nuts while being snowed in for four days.

Hopefully this week will return to normal and I can get back in the gym and move forward.

I did gain a pound...but considering all the odds against me I'll be ok with it.

Week 4 Day 1 Weigh In

Confession: I had more than one cheat meal this week.

I was hoping that I would be posting my blog more than once a week, however that is just a dream. Finding the time to blog on top of working out, work, and everything else is near impossible. I've found myself deciding between working out and blogging and so I choose working out. As much as I would like to keep everyone updated on a regular basis I have to keep my priorities straight and until my time management gets better once a week blog is all you get.

This week I lost a pound....which took me by surprise because half way through the week I weighed myself and it said I had gained 3 pounds. Needless to say I was busting a move to get back down. Which I guess was a good thing cause I had new motivation for the rest of week. All that went through my head was I have my weigh in on Monday and I have to lose at least three pounds and then some to do somewhat decent. So I'm happy with the 1 pound weight loss but it could have been more.

Here's the deal it has been a rough week for me. I am going through a "mid-life crisis" basically I'm facing the reality that I'm working a high school job at 27 when I should have a career by now. I mean I don't have to have a career by now and I know some people take a while to find a job that works for them. However, I'm getting tired of working with 20 somethings whose idea of a good time is drinking and eating late at night. I want to work a job that isn't evenings and have a slightly more structured day. On top of that I'm clashing with people at work and things I do are being taken out of context. So I've been in a rut and fighting the urge to emotionally eat which has added more stress. Then the mid life crisis kicks in and I find myself in a depressed mood and not wanting to work out and rather escape my reality through TV or the internet.

The one thing I have learned since I've started this blog, losing weight is more than just working out and eating right.....Its changing my life. I'm changing more than just food, who I hang out with, what events I attend and how I celebrate life. I am hoping in the long run I not only lose weight but make the lifestyle changes in my life that keep me healthy and doing something I love.

Week 3 Day 1 Weigh In

Confession: I had more than one cheat meal this week.

On the plus side (not really) I've been sick all week. I got some sort upper respiratory infection that put a pound of mucus in my chest. I felt like crap and for the past week I have been hacking, gagging, coughing and blowing my nose. So I've been taking a lot of Mucinex which seems to have a hunger suppressant in it. I hadn't been hungry for days and when I was I would like three bites of something an would be full. Since I was sick and had no appetite, I had no motivation to cook. So we ordered in a lot of take out this week. Luckily for me I would very little and be done. Unfortunately because I was so congested my asthma was flared up and I couldn't work out. I was getting winded walking up stairs, more than 10 feet. So needless to say I was way behind on everything. Thus no blogs.

The good news is that I am feeling much better and getting back on track. I've already started putting together a menu for this week and making plans for getting back in the gym. Unfortunately, this will be a short blog, but more should follow now that I am feeling better.

So I weighed in today and I am down to 220lbs!!!!! It might be a little unfair cause I've been sick but I'll take it. The challenge now will be if I can keep it off and possibly lose more weight.

Week 2 Day1 -WEIGH IN!!!

Confession: Last night was my birthday dinner with the family....my choice....Chicago deep dish pizza. BIG mistake!!!!

Incase you are not friends with me on facebook today is my birthday!!!! I had pick the restaurant for my birthday celebration completely forgetting that it was the night before my week 2 weigh in. So when I weighed in today my new weight is......222lbs.
ACK!!!! I gained a pound!!!! I feel like its the biggest loser week 2 curse!!! I had been good all week and had my one cheat meal....obviously timing is everything. If you're going to cheat don't do it the night before your weigh in. I am going out with friends tonight for my birthday so tonight will be another cheat meal....I may regret this decision later....but plan on being good and focused for the rest of the week. I'm pretty sure I'll be putting $5 in the pot for lowest percentage of weight lost because I gained!!!!

Ok so this is going to be a short blog cause I have tons to do today!!! More to come in the next week.


To everyone else who signed up be sure to post your weight by Tuesday 12:30pm.

Week 1 Day 2

Confession: I am having the biggest peanut butter and chocolate craving!!

The upside to this craving, my gym has really good smoothies that I like to get with extra peanut butter...makes the craving go down. However, I'm hooked and kinda want one everyday!!! Which could be a good thing because, it gives me an excuse to go to the gym and provides a little reward for my hard workout.

So I joined sparkpeople.com its pretty neat. I've got a workout set up and I can input my food intake. So I can count my calories and stay on top of my nutrition. I kinda like it. The original workout they gave me was all machines! Luckily I can change the exercises to something that isn't on the machine or more challenging...to which I found myself editing the majority of the workout. Thankfully, my husband was with me so he was able to give some advise and help me find the best ones that worked for me. We shall see how this works out.

I've decided to extend my challenge sign up by a day....incase people are just now getting around to reading my blogs. Plus I've had a few people ask me some questions about it.

If you have the money to put in GREAT! If not no worries! The point of having people put money in is to keep them accountable and have some sort of loss for not losing weight. Pretty much its a motivator, just like having to post your weight on a weekly basis. Something to keep in the back of your mind when you're faced with bad food, laziness, or any decision that could stop you from losing weight. Think about it, if the contestants on Biggest Loser and get on the scale and let all of America know what they weigh I know you can post it on my blog. I only have 15 followers and usually only get 100 views a week....115people versus 2.5million.....I think the 115 isn't looking too shabby.

The Start of a New Year

Confession: I weighed myself last week and I was at 227lbs.

Before I get started with the challenge I wanted to share the dinner I made last night. I used the "Abs Diet Cookbook" and found a recipe for burgers!! It was super easy and my husband LOVED IT!!! Which is a plus because he likes a big juicy burger. So the fact that I could make a burger that was low in calories and not feel guilty about eating really made my night!!! Who has a great recipe that like that has helped them with their weight loss?

Ok everyone it's time to see if you are serious about losing weight? I know I am!!!! As promised I have weighed myself and have my starting weight!! drum roll pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaazzzzzeeeee........................221lbs!!!! As you can see I've already lost 6lbs but don't worry for the challenge I'll keep my weight at 221lbs just to be fair. If I can keep this momentum up I might just lose 50lbs which would be amazing....but I'm going to be realistic and hope for 30-40lbs. So I went ahead and took some before photos so you can see where I am starting. To those who decide to take on my challenge you do not have to post your before photos now, but you do have to have a before and after pic at the end of the challenge.

A front View



Side View




Ok so after taking these pics I've realized that I don't look at my profile as much as I should. The weight really shows and you can see my over hang and muffin top.....I can't believe I'm making this public. However, all the more reason to start working out and be able to post better pics to prove that I can do this.

So who is in? You have until tomorrow 2pm to post your weight and join the challenge. Think of it as an accountability to keep on target. Like next week, how amazing it will be to say you lost 5lbs, or when you are surrounded by bad food you can say "NO!! I have to post my weight in two days and I do NOT want to gain" Don't worry I will not ridicule or make fun and anyone that does on my blog will be blocked or kicked off. It's the monday you keep saying that will start your weight loss journey.

Who is in?

Finding new tools for weight loss

Confession: I managed to not go out after work all week and not indulged in fatty foods.

I know that my official weigh in is tomorrow, but I figured I should start my weight loss journey now....instead of using all of last week as an excuse to eat crappy food and give excuse "ohhh my diet starts on monday" which I know everyone does at some point in life. I've come to the reality of I can't wait and I can't push off what I needed to do yesterday.

Ok so remember how I signed up with my gym for their Zero Gain Campaign? ( I'm sure you don't, it was an incentive to maintain or lose weight throughout the holiday season. In short I paid $5 weighed in on Nov. 23rd and was suppose to weigh in again on Jan 3rd and would win a prize for either maintaining or losing weight.) Needless to say I knew for a fact that I had gained and couldn't face walking into the gym and stepping on that scale. However, the embarrassment of not being able to maintain for this campaign was a big reality check. I need to get back on track and saw that when I was updating my blog I did lose weight...so therefore the comeback of my blog and my New Years challenge.

On Wednesday or Thursday I received an e-mail from one of the trainers at my gym saying that they missed me at the weigh in but offered a free training session. Which of course I was like that would be grand...I also expressed to her that I wanted create a workout I could do for a month something I can start out doing and after a week or so be able to change it up on my own and stayed challenged. After a month I could meet with her again and design a new work out. She was so excited to meet and help me create a work-out and a plan for success. So I'm meeting with her on Friday. I'm really excited....I'm actually putting together a plan for success.

In the mean time I found an app on my phone by Jillian Michael's...It's free which is good. Right now everything I'm doing to find tools for weight loss need to be free or very low cost. I've already invested a lot of money so I need to use the tools I already have and not waste more money. The app is pretty neat, it has daily tips, workouts (circuit and exercises that focus on certain body parts legs, arms, abs etc...) So for now I'm trying out her workouts and reading up on the abs diet and creating a menu for each week.

So dear readers, what has worked for you? Anyone found a really good app or website that has helped you track calories, give great recipes, create work outs that have helped you lose weight?