Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Two Steps Forward One Step Backwards

So I thought it had only been two weeks since the last time I blogged, yeah it's been 4 weeks. Therefore, my goal of blogging once a week has failed miserably. However, I am happy to report I am making progress in my new journey. Well progress in some areas and not so much in others. 

Step 2:  Create my own home.

That has not gone so well. Lack of job equals lack of money. Now I know there are plenty of women out there who make beautiful home decor designs on a penny. Also, there is this wonderful website called "Pinterest" that gives you hundreds of money saving ideas. So I should utilize it. Well finding motivation, time, and energy to decorate my home is lost in another world. I have decided to wait until I feel I have more of this" stay at home mom" stuff under control and have properly gotten our new income/budget under control. 

Step 3: Get healthy. 

I am happy to report I have successfully lost 5lbs. I wish it was more, but I am happy with my results. I am making it to a minimum of two crossfit classes a week. Some weeks 3 times and one week 4 times. Eating has gotten better but not great. I am still terribly addicted to Dr Pepper and have not 100% cut grains and sugar out of my diet. I am hoping to average 2-3lb lost a week. My weight lost battle has been an ongoing battle for many years. I have come to realize that even if I get to my goal weight the battle will not be over. So for this step my motto is "slow and steady wins the race." So one step closer to a healthier me.

Step 4: Doing Stuff Outside the House with Ollie. 

We have been to Big Splash, blueberry picking, and the park. It's been great, but the past two days we have been home and having two days of just me and her at home have been wonderful. I get morning snuggles, afternoon naps, and evening cuddling to let me know she is ready for bed. I never thought I would love those things but I do. It reaffirms I made the right choice. I still have days where I miss working full time, but getting to snuggle with Ollie or sleep in because she does, makes it all worth it.

Working on steps 2-4 has kept me busy. For now I will continue to in my journey and try to keep you updated on a more regular basis. 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Step 1 done.

Well I am finally a SAHM. My last day was a week ago and it's had been a rocky start. I was actually pretty emotional about leaving, it was a job I loved and I loved the people I was working with. My first two days at home were uneventful and unproductive. I slept when Ollie slept, and basically just chilled and did as little as possible. By Thursday night I was  ready to go back to work or find something to keep my brain stimulated. I do not sit still very well. The weekend came and it was full of running errands and seeing family. Once I was finally out and about I got motivated to focus on my new life. I think the best part was that I had time to plan my menu for the week, create a grocery list, and have stuck to what I have planned to eat. Part of me feels lame for that being considered a highlight, but its all part of my new journey. So Step 1 is done, on to Steps 2,3&4. I do know how many steps are in my journey, but I am taking them day by day.

Step 2: Create my new home.

Last night I did some major cleaning. Being a working mom cleaning took a backseat to most things I was lucky to get everything cleaned once a month. I know I know I know that seems gross. I did clean throughout each week, but things like dusting, sweeping, and washing  happened when I had time or I could see the dirt. So this morning it was such a relief to get up and chill in my living room and not have to look at layers of dust or piles of stuff that got pushed out of the way until I could get to it. 

I have started two To Do lists. One is for small things that just need to be done and will help keep my home organized and clean. The other is a DIY/Pinterest list of stuff to decorate my home and have it not feel so bare. My goal is to tackle one item a day from the first list and to attempt one item a week from the second list. 

My first goal is to find or make a dry erase board with my lists and goals.

Step 3: Get Healthy.

I successfully made it to 3 cross fit classes last week. All three kicked my butt. It was worth it though, lately I have only been able to make it once a week. So my goal is to make it 3 times a week and on days I cannot make it, attempt to do the work outs at home, or run. I have made a pact with a friend to run a 5k in October. So I should probably start now. 

Since I had time to plan, shop, and cook my eating has made a major improvement. We are eating about 80% paleo 10% bad and 10% somewhere inbetween. So my goal is to kick my Dr Pepper addiction and completely cut out carbs. I have done it before I can do it again. 

Step 4: Doing stuff with Ollie outside of the house. 

I know since its summer a lot of place are on break. However, I want to find 2 or 3 activities Ollie and I can get involved in. Like gymnastics, soccer, museums, etc. I know they are out there, it just a matter of taking the time to find them, sign up, and add them to my calendar. It's a great way to get us out of the house, and opportunity for Ollie to learn. 

My final goal, blog once a week. The blogger app will definitely help with that. 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Start of a new Journey

Annnnnnd I'm back.

Ok so to all of my faithful followers out there, if there are any out there I'm back. Hopefully I'll be back for good and will be blogging on a much regular basis.

Let’s get caught up!

So the last time I blogged was back in 2011 when I was pregnant and wondering what the future will hold for me and my new family. Well, we had our little girl! And she is just perfect! I don't want to brag but I am just in love with her. This past year and half has been a whirlwind of babies, working and finding my grip on reality.

The new Title

For those of you who noticed the new title to my Blog is "Day by Day" It comes from one of my favorite musicals "Godspell." It is a very simple song where the followers of Christ sing about living their life day by day and only praying for three things; to follow, to love, and to see. It's the simplicity of the song that really speaks to me. With having a family, working, and life you tend to get caught up in everything and it all just seems so complicated. In reality life is very simple, we complicate things. So in my new endeavor to blog and starting a new journey in my life my first step is to simplify and take everything day by day.

The New Journey

What is the new Journey I am talking about? Glad you asked. This will be a journey of steps, some small some big.

Step 1: Quit my job

I have officially quit my job. That right I will no longer be a "Full-Time" Working mom. This has been the HARDEST decision of my life. I am sure I will have to make hard decisions in the future and some may be harder than this one, but this one will stand out to me. For some, this is not a hard decision, for some, this is not a decision but a need.
Do I want to be a "Stay at home mom?"
But you quite your job?
Yes, I did. I recognize that I cannot do both, work and be a mom. I also recognize that my child needs me at home.
Do I think all moms should be stay at home moms?
In fact I applaud every mom out there who works and takes care of her family. Being a mom is one of the toughest most underpaid jobs out there. So to find a balance between work and home and make things work and properly raise your child is a very large task that only some can handle. If the circumstances were different and I could find a better balance than yes I would consider going back to full time work. I will continue to work and it will be part time. However, I will be working in a job where I have the flexibility of hours and ability to take time off without have to mess up other peoples schedules or jobs. At my current job I held a lot of responsibility and was not in a position to have the flexibility needed to work and be a mom. Though, I am still working my focus will be on my child and work will be fit in when possible.

Step 2: Create my home.

I do not know what “my home” is. Right now I just have boxes, hand me down furniture mixed with a few new things, and stuff everywhere. My walls are bare, and my house is barely organized. I want to create my home, a place where my husband can come home and rest and get away from the craziness of his job. Someplace where, after time away my daughter longs to be home because there is no place like home. A place where friends walk and know this is a home. This will take work and creativity because of course I decide to do this after I quite my job and taking a HUGE pay cut. I had a friend say something to me that made sense; you either have money or time. I will have time, so I will have time to hunt for good bargains, to sell unwanted crap on craigslist, and time to be a DIY. I will use pinterest as an idea, and not measure of how good I’m doing.

Step 3: Get healthy

My wonderful husband has introduced me to the wonderful world of Paleo. I have to admit I’m hooked! I love the recipes, I love how I feel when I stick to the diet, and I love the results. I feel on some level my job has gotten in the way of eating more healthy. However, the real thing that has gotten in the way is my laziness. When I am home from a long day at work and have nothing prepared my will power to power thru and cook is out the window and the idea of take out is so comforting. I know I will have crazy days and take out will be ideal, but the lack of income and my new determination for health will need to prevail for me to stay on target and on budget.

I also joined a crossfit gym. I love it. It is exactly what I have been looking for in a gym. Well in finding a new motivation for getting in shape. I love the work outs, I love the people, and I love how I feel after I work out. I will still have the challenge of making time and finding a sitter, but I am determined. My goal is to by the end of the summer either run a 5K or do something that is benchmark worthy.

So my dear friends my new journey starts, I will do my best to keep you updated.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

It's a........

Confession: I really wanted a boy!!!

I'm not going to lie I was pretty bummed when the ultrasound tech said girl. However, I do have a small bit of hope, it took the tech a while to figure out the gender and even still it wasn't too clear. I'm going in again in a week to take another look, and hopefully then we will know for sure. As much as I am secretly hoping it's a boy, I have to come to terms with the fact that it is a girl. I think my sister is more excited that I'm having a girl than I am, I think part of that is because she wanted boys and wound up with two girls, so now that she has them she is more excited to see someone else have a girl. Something about already having girls makes her appreciate them even more. So I would like to make one clear statement to all of my friends and family!

"Absolutely NO bows, ribbons, tut-tu's, excessive amounts of pink, frilly dresses, or anything that screams girly girl!!!!!!!"

I do realize that when it comes to having a girl the amount of pink that is available is insane. So I know that I'm sure it'll be very hard to find non-pink or purple items and that I will receive my fair share of these colors. Lets try to keep it to a minimum. Also I am blessed to have a wonderful sister who has two girls worth of clothing, so I'm sure baby anderson will have plenty of clothes so I'll be more concerned with getting other items, like toys, passies, teething things, you know functional stuff.

Ok I'll stop my moaning about how I don't want girly stuff. I've never been a girly kind of girl. I do have my moments but I could live happily ever after in jeans and hoodies.

I have some more good news, I got a job!!! HOORAY!!!! I feel like I can breathe again. We have been able to live, but things have been tight and the amount of stress had been growing. I feel like I can finally relax and just enjoy life and start to enjoy the fact that I'm pregnant. I had a hard time being happy about being knocked up. It felt like a constant reminder that all the stress in my life was all because of me getting pregnant. Though it may have been the straw that broke the camels back, some of the things going on in my life were bound to happen. It just coincided with the pregnancy. So now the goal is to get caught up financially (we wouldn't be so behind but our lovely car has officially turned into a money pit), which shouldn't take long and then start getting things ready for the baby. Putting together the nursery, getting baby items, and really just be ready when the baby arrives.

I'm sure the big question will be the baby's name. I haven't decided if I want to make that public knowledge. However, when we do decide I'm sure my husband will tell you. He's not a fan of keeping secrets and surprises. So it may not be public on fb but I'm sure you'll be able to find out the name, that is if we can agree on one.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I've had time to think

Confession: I am not excited about being pregnant.

I know I know I know I know....How could that be? I will be excited. It's going to be a process.

When I found out that I am pregnant my life did a total 180, I thought that the 180 would happen over time, nine months to be exact. Instead it practically happened over night, I went from employed, busy, and not worried about money, to unemployed, sick, broke, and depressed. Let me expound,

The surge of hormones in my body affected everything in my life and completely caught me off guard. It definitely affected my ability to work. Maintaining the control over my emotions went out the window, and I found myself halfway out the window trying to get my control back. I very quickly realized in a fast pace work environment I could not get a grip over night. Between the emotions and the sickness working full time and in a restaurant was no longer an option. I had to move on find something less stressful, fewer hours, and fewer smells. I know I can handle a job, the one I had wasn't one I could handle.

Quitting meant seeing my work friends less. Also since I am pregnant I can no longer hang with my friends like I use to. First of all they usually don't get off work till late at night and usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning. Since I was so sick waiting until after 10pm to see friends was not an option. Feeling well enough during the day to see friends? Not so much, Quitting was more than just losing my job, but it also meant losing a part of my social life. Which isn't terrible because it opened the door for a different social life. What stinks is that I never maintained friendships outside of work. I was too busy to see my friends who worked a 9-5 weekends off kind of jobs. I worked in the evenings and every weekend and holiday. So I lost my work social life and discovered I didn't have any other social life. So I'm feeling awful, my life and body are drastically changing and I don't know who to talk to? Even if I had kept my friends most of them are single and probably can't relate to a married pregnant girl?

So losing my incoming meant putting buying a house on hold. It also turned into more stress in my marriage. Now it is all on my husband to bring in the money. I had hoped to find a part time less crazy job, or a job that is somewhat closer to what I want to do in life. However, I have not found a job, and really haven't gotten much response from putting my resume out there...kinda not helping with the whole self esteem. Since my income is gone my husband now is working more so we can still try to buy a house which means him working more and me seeing him less, more stress on the marriage.

By now I am losing all motivation to move forward. I have found myself consumed with Netflix and wondering where my life is going?

I kept on saying to myself if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would not be in this slump. The fact is the slump was inevitable. I was no longer happy at my job, and did not have the motivation to move onto to something better. We have always wanted to buy a house but have not been strict enough with our finances to get our act together to buy a house. I was so consumed by my job and how unhappy I was I never bothered to cultivate relationships outside of work. I was slowly moving backwards. Getting pregnant should have been a wake up call but instead was an excuse for me to dive straight into the slump!!!

It has taken two months, losing friends, and no response from employers to make me realize that maybe I need to change. I am changing whether I like it or not. My body is changing and my whole life will change once my little one arrives.

So I have started reading 48 days to the work you love. Reading this book is turning into my wakeup call.

I must admit my husband is probably shocked I'm reading a book.

So I am waking up, figuring what is the "work I love?" In the meantime I'm trying to find some sort of job to keep me moving until I know what to do next. I am going to work on making relationships that will keep me accountable and encouraged. Ones that it doesn't matter what I'm doing in life they will still be there and we will make time for each other.

There are a few friends who have been with me through all of this and I am grateful to you!!! You are first on the list for me to strengthen our relationship.

It is time for me to grow up and find...me.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Officially into the Second Trimester

Confession: I'm tired of everything being so "common"

While doing research and learning about how my body is changing I'm learning everything that is "common" in a pregnancy is happening to me.

Morning Sickness: common occurrence during the first trimester. Which I knew about and figured since my sister had pretty bad morning sickness so I figured I would probably have the same problem. Needless to say it was a nightmare. Everything I smelt made me want to vom everywhere. Not to mention my diet got stripped down to what stays down, and what comes up nicely. However, I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, second trimester (commonly known for the sickness going away)

Heartburn: Yeah that common and I get it quit a bit. Looks like I'll be adding tums to my diet. They say its a sign my baby has a lot of hair....but I don't think that much hair has developed yet.

Constipation: Another common thing that happens during pregnancy. This one I was not aware of...(because my research has been put on hold due to the fact that I was busy hanging out with Mr. Toilet) So one day I have the common urge to use the restroom. While chilling in the Reasor's bathroom I'm wondering why this is taking longer than normal and why things are not just moving the way they should. Finally, I give up and rush home. Mainly because my business wasn't done and I wanted to finish at home. Hours later, after much consumption of water, fiber, and laxatives relief. However, it wasn't quit totally relief....two days later I FINALLY got my system cleared out. Even though my system was clear I managed to clog the toilet. Thinking that was rough but glad it's over, boy was I wrong. So now my diet has changed to an increase in water intake, fiber and laxatives.

Belly Pains: There is a technical term for it I can't remember, the pain you feel while your uterus is stretching. I hope this will only last for a short time, but between the constipation pains and uterus stretching my stomach is in constant pain.

For one week I would like to be pregnant and not have to deal with all the "common" things that happen during pregnancy.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Why I have fallen off the planet for a while

Confession: I'm knocked up!!!!

I will take a moment while you are done pulling your jaw up off the floor, screaming, re-reading my confession, and for some crying.

Yes the rumors are true I am preggers. Which is why I dropped the ball on the whole weight loss challenge. I will say though I have lost weight since I got pregnant not because I was trying but more because I can't keep anything down. So to all my fans trying to lose weight I would like to say keep going!!! Just because my journey is on hold shouldn't make you stop. Once I have had the baby and can workout again I will be back not only to lose baby weight but get to my goal weight.

I'm considering changing my blog to "Confessions of Pregnant Girl" cause life has taken a drastic turn for me. Because of my pregnancy I've had to quit my two jobs, restaurants plus,super sonic pregnant nose, plus, nausea, equals no more food industry for faith. I find myself wanting to comment on how things are so different for me. I am EMOTIONAL.....I am emotional at everything!!! I cry at commercials, movies like transformers (who does that?) and when I do watch something that makes the average girl cry I'm a wreck. Then I get upset so easily, and then I want love, then I'm laughing....I'm all over the place. I was in church and they asked the regular attendees to move to the overflow seating so the first time guest could have a seat in the sanctuary and the amount of people who jumped up to give up their seats sent me to tears!!! I mean the gesture was nice but to make me just start crying??? UGH!!! The hormones are slowly taking over.

The nausea is so intense!!!! I have been oh so sick. To the point that (Ok if you have a weak stomach you might want to stop reading) I have made a list of foods that come up easily and ones that don't, because I throw up that easily. Sometimes I feel like I throw up in courses....in reverse. One night I threw up my dessert thinking ok maybe I ate too much, but just when I thought I was in the clear up came dinner and then a little left over from lunch. One night I threw up ice cream which started my whole list of food that I would rather throw up than others. You see many moons ago while at camp my friend Nick Harris thought it would be a great dinner topic to ask "If you could throw up anything. What would it be?" Of course he had his response which was ice cream. He said i think it would be grand even if it came back right away so that it was still cold and creamy. He has a point!!! Ice cream comes back up wonderfully and usually tastes great. I had a friend say that throwing up blue gatorade came up great as well. So now I'm to the point of picking what I eat based on what comes up the best.

Ok enough puke talk for one day!

So some facts I'm sure everyone is dying to know.

I am 13 weeks

I am due Nov. 1ST

I do not know the sex

I'm sure I'll share the gender once I know

Why the wait to announce? Partly because I miscarried, but I've been so sick I'ver barely had time to formulate a blog between my meetings with the toilet.