Saturday, July 31, 2010

Week 7 Day 6

Confession: Cardio and heat are my enemy!!!

I need to do more cardio to speed up the weight loss journey. I'm eating good, working out, and making slow progress. I know I need to do more cardio, in fact I'm trying to train for my 5k. Here's the problem, first of all, I can't get to the gym on a daily basis. Second of all, the heat is just killing me. I can't stand hot weather, its one of my main motivators in leaving Oklahoma. Therefore, finding the motivation to get up, go outside, and run in the blazing heat is beyond my abilities. I try to psych my self up and think if i just get out there and start moving I'll be fine. Nope!! One step out the door and I'm running back inside to the air conditioning. Anything over 80 degree's is not my friend. So now I'm waiting to for the sun to go away and so I can start training outside.

So apparently there is a "Mud Run" in Tulsa on the August 21. Apparently its this 1.5-2mile course of mud and obstacle courses. Kinda sound fun. But you have to do it in teams of 2 or 5. So if anyone wants to get down and dirty let me know. I'm thinking about doing it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Week 7 Day 3

Confession: I bought a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream.

To which my husband discovered when we were unpacking the groceries. Don't worry he immediately pulled it out opened it up and dumped the contents down the drain. I was not happy. Partly because it was four dollars down the drain, partly because I felt like I deserved it, and partly because he was right. I did feel like I deserved it, cause I have been working so hard and doing so well I want some kind of reward. In all honesty though, I'm still snacking on things I shouldn't be and haven't quite given up all sugary drinks. So in reality I really don't need the ice cream, because my eating is not completely clean. If I had been good "totally" good for a week or two maybe I could have rewarded myself with ice cream. Also I don't think I'm in too good of a place emotionally to be able to reward myself with ice cream. And rewarding myself with ice cream really isn't a reward. So i guess.....Lesson learned.

I did have a victory today, I ran my 5k and shaved 1:20 minutes off. I'm really proud of myself!!! I really would like to get to a 10 minute mile and at the rate I'm going I should get there very quickly!!! I do need to run it more often, but as long as I'm doing some sort of training every week its some sort of step forward.

Progress is being made, how can I tell? People are telling me. I've had two different friends, people who I don't see on a regular basis comment that I look like I've lost weight. I'm not going to lie, its a big confidence boost to have people say something not knowing about my blog or anything.

Onward and Upward!!!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Week 6 Day 6

Confession: I have been craving take out chinese all day yesterday.

So I'm weighing myself on a daily basis and right now the scale says I've gained 3 more POUNDS!!!! UGH!!! I feel like I'm taking steps backwards. I'm hoping its just water weight and I'll be back to normal by tomorrow or Monday. I feel like I'm doing better with my work outs, but the eating is slacking. I can't seem to stay balanced between the two.

Yesterday, well Thursday night, I could not sleep to save my life. I would sleep for an hour and half wake up, be up for an hour or so does off and wake up again. This went on all night. Then my husband gets home from work around 7:30am. Makes so much noise!! and turns on about every light in the house. Needless to say I was awake again and not happy. He was in a really good mood and wanted to talk about his night at work. Then we got to talking about other things and then he's like "since you're up" come work out. Of course I don't want to work out, I've got barely any sleep in me and had a full day of work ahead of me. He basically gives me this speech on pushing thru and keep my goals in mind. So I drag myself out of bed and head to the gym. Getting started was rough, I wanted to puke!!! However, once I got into the groove of my work out and had Pandora radio going I was feeling better and able to push through my work out.

Side Note: Lady Gaga Radio on Pandora is the best. Mainly because its fast beat music that makes you want to dance and move around. Not to mention want to get thin so you can be one of those skinny girls making millions of dollars.

I have this circuit of weights I move thru in my work out. The first part is the bench. I started with just the bar 45lbs and have moved up to 85lbs. Pretty good right? Well all last week I was complaining cause I felt like I had hit my peek around 75-80lbs and wanted to stay there until I felt comfortable to move on. My husband on the other hand argued saying that "I'm stronger than I think and its all a matter of technique." Lets just say he proved he was right friday morning. I went to do the bench and he noticed I had lost some of my technique and we need to review some things. So he explained how to breathe where to place my feet/ hands, how I should lay on the bench etc. Then he went over the faster you go down, the faster you come up AND the slower you go down the slower you come up. Which is true cause I didn't believe I could do heavier weights but, it was because I was benching slow and being careful. However, when I benched faster I blew thru my 8 reps of 85lbs and probably could have done more. To which my husband had the biggest smile on his face and was like you did amazing. This is your best work out so far. Needless to say he was right and I was wrong, and apparently I'm a pretty strong gal. Looks like my weights will be going up next week. I'm excited but nervous at the same time.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Week 6 Day 4

Confession: Late night eating got the best of me last night.

You know what the worst part about my late night eating??? I just didn't care. I was so tired and hungry I just didn't care. I wanted food I didn't care what I ate, and needed something. Part of it was emotional cause I was not happy that I didn't make any money serving, part of it was due to poor planning, I didn't pack a lunch for work, and part of it was just pure laziness. I didn't have the thoughts of "don't eat that!" or "you'll regret this later" I just made the food sat down and ate. Didn't even flinch.

So I know next time if I pack food I'll do better, but I'm finding that even if I plan ahead and try to keep things healthy I still need to emotionally eat. How do I break the emotional eating?? What do I do when I'm "stressed," "angry," "hurt," etc and not eat. I can't ignore it, I can't just go to sleep, replacing it with healthy food doesn't help. Do I need counseling? Is this a therapy[y issue? This is more frustrating than eating right and working out. Knowing that I'm stuck in a cycle of emotions and eating and NOT knowing how to break the cycle.

So today I was planning on working out, but my husband is to tired to take me to the gym. Which is fine, but leaves me with figuring out how to work out on my own, with no gym. Problem 1: My husband works graveyard, so he sleeps during the day. We live in an apartment so doing exercise videos and such are hard to do cause more than likely it'll wake him up. Problem 2: The heat is killing me. I don't last long in it, and usually do less of a work cause I get over heated very quickly. Problem 3: I work late at night so getting up early is pretty much out of the question. So do I go running in the park in the evening? That doesn't seem safe? Risk waking up my husband? Or risk heat exhaustion? I'm pretty sure I'm just being a weenie and should probably suck it up and do some actively outside in the heat. Besides it'll make me sweat more and help lose more water weight. I just need to come up with the money and get a gym membership and have no excuse. Anybody in tulsa frequent a gym? Any suggestions and are you looking for a gym buddy?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Week 6 Day 3

Confession: I had one too many weak moments in the past week.

Hello blog world!!!! Did you miss me?? I missed you.

Oh where to being. Let me start with the fact that I faced a lot of stress since wednesday. First of all, we took our car in to get a funny noise fixed, and was given a list of things that needed to be done and a very LARGE estimate. Needless to say stress started to grow discussing what was important, how much could we afford to get fixed now versus later etc.

Then thursday night at work stress was taken to a whole new level. Our computers had a malfunction and I spent the majority of the evening on the phone with my owner and technical support trying to fix what went wrong. Since I had no car I had to rely on friends to give me rides and squeeze in errands when I can. So late at night I'm at wal mart trying to get food for the weekend and stuff for my sisters shower. I was so burnt out I broke down and ate fast food. To which I immediately regretted, after not eating fast food for so long once I consumed it I felt horrible. I still felt horrible the next day when I got up.

I finally get my car back on Friday...WHAT A RELIEF!! And I just crashed that night once I got off work. I tried to be productive but found myself staring at the TV and not accomplishing much of anything.

Saturday was my sister's baby shower which went over great!! Of course it was a shower and full of sugary treats. I woke up late and skipped breakfast before heading to the shower. So what do I end up doing? Eating the food at the shower, delicious cookies and chocolate pudding dirt cake. So what happened when you've been off sugar for so long? Your blood sugar spikes and then I CRASHED!!! I got home and all I wanted to do was sleep. I ended up just sleeping for hours until I had to go to work. And recovering and getting myself awake to go to work was a challenge. Work ended up being stressful and full of miscommunication. Needless to say after work I went out with co-workers and broke my healthy eating once again.

Sunday comes around and I'm finally ready to get back on the wagon. Work was good, my husband was done with his work week, and I'm able to stick to healthy eating.

Monday we are back on track I make it to the gym, we eat good life's better.

Tuesday even better. I got on the tredmill and ran/walk a 5k again. Guess what???? I shaved two minutes off my time. I'm feeling good.

Today, it's Weigh In Wednesday!!! I gained 2lbs. Sadness!! But I did break my healthy eating twice. So if it's only 2lbs I can live with that. Just means I have to work harder this week. Work out more than 3 times this week and absolutely no bad eating!!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Week 5 Day 3

Confession: I make a mean omelette

I LOST 5LBS!!!!!

Thats right kids I'm down to 219lbs!!! Yippie!!! Ok the hard work is starting to pay off and I'm starting to see the progress. Definitely a big boost in motivation. Due to things we had to do today I had to drag my lazy butt out of bed super early to get my work out in and get everything else accomplished! Needless to say it was rough getting out of bed, waking up, and getting in gear at the gym. I did it though, I made it through my work out, my husband had to push me a lot but I made it. And yes, I weighted myself before I went to the gym to keep my weight as accurate as possible.

I'm not going to lie....I can't wait until I get under 200. That'll be closer to where I was before I moved back to Oklahoma. If I get into the 180's that'll be my high school weight, and anything under 160 will be a miracle!!!!

What's sad is that my "skinny" jeans are only a size 10. To think that I could get under that to maybe an 8? or 6? Oh that would be wonderful.

Before I get too excited its back to the gym, better eating, and keep moving forward. Baby steps!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Week 5 Day 2

Confession: I have been craving ice cream all day today!!!

Today, I thought would be a light workout it ended up being a crazy workout. My husband put me on the treadmill and told me to attempt to run a "5k" 3.1 miles, while I recorded my time at every half mile and mile for future workouts.....lets just say I have a lot of training to do. I started out pretty good, ran for about half a mile walked, ran another half mile, walked almost ran another half mile, walked a lot more tried to run, tried to sprint and push myself barely finished the 3.1 miles in 47minutes. SEESH!!! I didn't think it would take me THAT long!! Yeah I have some work to do. So now I need to find a reasonable goal to work finish in under 30 minutes or run the whole thing without walking, something like that.

After the intense run, my husband had me do some boxing on the bag. I was so tired and weak I could barely punch it. I felt worthless, and and exhausted like I wasn't doing any good cause I didn't have any energy in me. I'm still exhausted, as I type. However, like a good husband he has been constantly reminding me of my goal and to not give up or give in to temptation.

For example, we went to chick fil-a today (its not a "diet" friendly choice but in comparison to other fast foods its actually not that bad) I really wanted to eat the chick fil-a sauce and ketchup with my meal. My loving husband informed me that both are filled with high fructose corn syrup, chemicals and useless calories and I need to stay away from. I avoided the sauce and pouted the whole time I ate my meal. He's right, it's bad for me and I'll regret it later. I just love sauce....on anything!!! I'm really thankful I have him, he's been great at pushing me, keeping me accountable, and encouraging me. I definitely lucked out with him.

So tomorrow is the big day, and by "big day" I mean my weekly weigh in. See if the juice diet and detox are making a difference. Also I think I'm going to do some measurements to see if there are any changes in that sense as well.

Since tomorrow is "weigh in day" (I think I going to start calling it "Weigh In Wednesday") I'm going to avoid the ice cream as much as it pains me, I'll be thankful later I did.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Week 5 Day 1

Confession: Late night eating got the best of me last night.

I've been doing this for 4 weeks? Wow time certainly does fly. I feel like I should be making more progress. I am....I know I am. My husband has even commented on how my tummy is getting smaller. But the weight is still there. I'm still in the 200's. I feel like I should have made more progress. I know, I know, baby steps.

Because of my juice diet and crazy weekend I hadn't worked out in a week!!! Yikes!!! I totally thought today I was going to die in the gym and feel like I was starting all over. To my surprised I did rather well. I could feel the progress in my work out, I'm ready to start upping the weights and adjusting the circuit to work more muscles. I do need to add more cardio that's whats going to really make the pounds fall off faster. Not to mention I should be training for my 5k.

I made an AWESOME dinner tonight. Honey mustard salmon with parmesan asparagus and sauteed spinach. DELISH!!! I'm really loving the recipes in "Cooks This, Not That."

Did I mention my doctor wants me to average a 2lbs weight loss a week?? I was hoping for 5lbs and lower it form there once I get the initial 30-40lbs. Guess not.

Ok back to the grind, eat right, work out!!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Week 4 Day 6

Confession: I'm never doing a juice diet ever again.

So juice diet was no bueno!!!! First of all I was on nothing but juice for 3 days....super tough. Not to mention by the last day I had some serious heartburn. Plus that constant hunger ache in my belly. Even though I lost about 3lbs, it was just as rough as working out for three days straight.

Yesterday I had my Dr. Appointment to talk to him about what I'm doing and get the facts from him about my health. Can I just say that I love my doctor!!! The appointment starts out with him telling me we have a friend in common, I was intrigued and asked who. He said the name slipped his head but he saw them talking about me on FB. Who knew? I know FB makes the world a smaller place, but it caught me off guard. Why wouldn't my doctor have a FB account? So I told him he can look me up and if we are friends he can follow my weight loss blog. To which led to me explaining my blog, and my weight loss plan. I also told him that my ultimate goal was to get my blog recognized by Oprah get a book deal and then maybe a movie.

He laughed and I told him he could choose whichever actor he wanted to play him in the movie.

He was like pick a guy?

Or you can play yourself!! I mean if you wanted Tim McGraw I'd be ok with that.

I was thinking more along the lines of Brad Pitt.

Even better!!

I mean I already get that everyday.

Oh I totally see the resemblance. I'll even it make a funny scene, where I'm always looking forward to visit my doctor, cause he looks like Brad Pitt.

OH that could work.

Needless to say I have a new appreciation for my doctor. We talked about the "Eat this Not that books" apparently he never heard of them. I mean it's totally changing my life and he should look into them just he can see how amazing they are. I told him about how this is more of a lifestyle change not a diet!! We agreed that you can't "diet" for life if I really want this to work and maintain my new weight it has to be a change for life. Which is why I'm going with these books cause they are geared towards eating better not dieting. I talked about the detox and he got a little concerned. Apparently the medical world has some very negative thoughts about detox and feel its more of a trend than an actual effective detox. He suggested that a detox is more of a eliminating bad foods, alcohol, and other bad things people consume. I told him how thats more along the lines what I'm doing eliminating the bad and taking a supplement to help move things out. I also reassured him that it was to kick start the weight loss, and not something I'll be doing on a regular basis. All in all he was very please with my plan and what I'm doing.

We also got on the subject about, how graphic I should be in my blog about me detox and how my poop is changing on a regular basis. As I was explaining the changes he just looked at me and said "I don't know why people wouldn't want to read about this, I'm already intrigued its just so amazing" Not only is my doctor funny, he's sarcastic too!!! It really makes me feel better having a doctor who I can talk with on a personable level. Someone I can trust with my health and not feel like every visit is just in and out here's a prescription kind of visit.

He decided to run test for the basics, blood sugar, cholesterol, thyroid etc. he also decided to check for celiac disease. Which may explain my stomach problems, which will be sad if it means giving up wheat products. I'm not going to lie....I love carbs especially bread!!!

Then comes the hard part!!! The lab test, actually it was just taking some blood so he can run the tests. Have I ever mentioned that I have a HUGE fear of needles?? Yeah its pretty intense, many moons ago I went with my friend to get her belly button pierced once, and I was the one freaking out and almost passing out. I've had to get a few IV's and needless to say they've ended with me hyperventilating and going into an intense shock. I haven't fainted like my sister, but I've come close. After the appointment I headed down to the lab and had to deal with the NEEDLE. The lab tech was very nice and I explained how I have a huge fear, my arm veins are tiny, and tend to collapse very easily. She basically told me she will get it on the first try and I had nothing to worry about and she did!!! I was very happy!!!

Now I wait for the results and resume my detox, except now I can eat food!!!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Week 4 Day 4

Confession: I broke my juice diet.

Here's the deal, I got asked to work late last night. Mainly to help close and clean the restaurant because we are having a big visit today. I agreed and my store manager told me as an incentive I'll order pizza for everyone. GREAT! I'm on a juice diet and as a way to get me to come in you offer me fatting food. Even if I wasn't on my juice diet I wouldn't want the pizza cause I'm on my health kick (I'm not calling my new way of eating a "diet" cause I don't want to diet for life. I want to get the weight off and then live my life, spurge on food when I want to, cut back when needed and keep myself healthy. Change my health and eating for life, not temporarily....I feel like diet are temporary not a permanent fix.) So its late, I'm tired, I'm hungry and the pizza smelt like heaven, so I gave in. I immediately regretted it, my stomach turned, and I wish I had better will power. Epic Fail.

This got me thinking....there is something wrong with America....why do you think we are fat? Because people use food as an incentive, they offer free fatty food as a reward. If you think about it, it's more of a slap in the face. Here, I'm going to have you work extra hard, and give you this pizza, ice cream, chips, soda, deep fried goodness that you will have to work even harder to work off what I just rewarded you. Which is even harder cause you're already working so hard for me and now you'll have even less time to work off the crap I'm giving you. I'm not blaming my boss, I'm blaming generations from before us, media, large food corporations and all the people who convinced America into eating/serving the bad food as a reward to make a buck. What is sad is that I never thought about how getting pizza as a reward was so bad. That it's actually doing more damage than good, yet it's everywhere, schools, work places, teams, you name it, they are all offering crap food as a reward for my good work. IT'S NOT A REWARD!!!!

This brought me back to a conversation I had a while ago, when I was having lunch with an old friend. He was filling me in on life and how things have changed etc. One of the things he mentioned is that his company is a huge advocate of healthy living, so much in fact they give raises to people who improve their health. He went in after like 6 month or a year of working for them, they basically gave him a physical and his health had improved, so they gave him a raise. Wouldn't that be amazing that you could earn money for being healthy? That you're job is willing to support you to live a healthier longer life. I wish this was a standard in every workplace not just a few.

Ok I'm getting off my soapbox.

The detox is back on track and going well. It's weird, I can feel the supplements moving things around, freeing up waste in my body. I guess thats a good sign. Haven't had any exciting moments on the toilet, but I'm sure there will be some soon.

Oh and I lost 3lbs yesterday, maybe I should go on a juice diet more often.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Week 4 Day 3

Confession: I lost 4 lbs....I really want to average 5 lbs a week, but that might be a stretch and I'll need to lower it to 3 lbs a week.

I started my detox today!!!

OK so far so good. Not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be....then again I'm only on the first day and I don't think the detox has completely kicked in yet. I'm sure tomorrow will be another story. Never fear I have stocked my bathroom with lots and lots of matches. Also I plan on keeping matches on hand incase things get ugly when I'm not home. Since I have started my detox today that means 3 day juice diet. That is what concerns me more than anything. I think I can last one maybe two days....but three. Oh that's going to be painful and I'll probably be on the grumpy side as well.

So I'm reading the instructions and it says if caffeine keeps you awake do not take right before bed because it has natural caffeine in it. So I'm like no problem, I use to drink caffeine quit a bit, and now that i'm eating healthier my caffeine intake has gone down but I'm sure I'll be fine. Well, next thing I know I have this urge to clean the house. I start cleaning, and cleaning, and scrubbing, and organizing and moving things around and I kept going and going. It was pretty intense!! I'm not going to lie I'm still a little on the jitter side just can't sit still. Not shaky and going crazy I just have this itch to do something....all the time. I guess that is a good side effect not only will I have a clean house, I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself busy.

So I guess when you detox you're body you'll have this natural urge to clean/detox you're surroundings.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Week 4 Day 1-2

Confession: Holiday eating kinda got the best of me.

I did really good at first. Friday success! Saturday success!! Sunday survived!!! Monday success minus the cookies!!! Tuesday epic fail!!!!!!!!

I've been finding really great recipes. Cooking more than I use to, packing lunches, drinking lots of water, snacking appropriately, and really feeling I got a handle on this life style change. Even staying consistence with my workouts. I was bracing myself for the holiday weekend and all the food temptations it entailed and I actually did really good. That was because I was working the majority of the weekend and really wasn't attending bbq's, parties, etc. Monday I finally had a day off and my husband and I went out to OKC to see some friends. We had a great time, even planned out our meals and were very successful. Aside from my husbands request for chocolate cookies. My friend makes some pretty amazing cookies and it's a request every time we visit. I managed to keep my cookie consumption to a minimum, but not to avoiding them completely.

Tuesday, thats a whole different story. We left our friends house without having breakfast. Not their fault. We had a big day ahead of us and needed get on the road as soon as possible. We left and halfway back found ourselves super hungry and going to McDonald's and eating horrible food. We get home shower and change and head to our next appointment, then onto the next. By then my husband is tired stressed out and not wanting to eat at home...mainly because he'd have to wait for me to find a recipe go to the store and cook. So we opt to eat out, I convinced myself I would do good, order properly and be successful. I ordered thinking I did good with opting for a chicken sandwich and taking off the mayo, then I ate fries, then fried jalapenos, fried cheese and finished the meal with a mint brownie shake. EPIC FAIL!!

Not to mention my original goal was to start my detox today.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start the detox, which also means starting a 3 day juice diet....and lots of personal time with my toilet. Hopefully, I'll be back on track tomorrow.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Week 3 Day 4

Confession: My emotional eating was in high gear last night.

Ok so needless to say I walked into a crazy night at work. Totally wasn't expecting it since it was a wednesday night. Never the less it was crazy, and I had about a million things going on at once. When one fire was under control another one would pop up somewhere else. (I work at a restaurant and we call "problems" "fires" whether is customer, staff, or mechanical related...for those who were wondering) So my stress level as a high level for most of the night. Plus it just felt like my job was on the line. I don't think my job was on the line, but I felt like mistakes were being made left and right and I couldn't control it. All I wanted to do was find a pint of Ben and Jerry's and sit down and just pig out. I wanted comfort food so bad. I didn't indulge in what was around me and I managed to find time to sit down and eat what I had brought. Although I was eating good food I could feel myself stress eating. I could feel my emotions calming as I ate my food. When I was done I was wishing I had more. What did I do when I finally got off work? I went out for a drink with friends....a big ole glass of empty calories. I needed to do something to unwind. A small victory in the sense I did not stress eat on junk food, but the stress and emotional eating is still there.

That being said what do I do next? I feel like that is the theme of my life. Encountering problems, figuring out what is wrong, and trying to move forward. Will my stress eating ever go away? Will I ever be able to find something to combat my stress other than junk and empty calories? The $64 million dollar question. If only I could answer the question and make some money at the same time.

My work out yesterday was lots and lots of running. Various running drills, sprints, jogging, walking, suicides, all that good stuff. Well it brought me back to my days of soccer. I use to play soccer all the time. I played from about age 5-20. I loved it!!! Well, one of my friends told me she was putting together a team for indoor soccer in the fall. To which I really want to join! But I have to get back in shape before I am able to start playing again. Mainly, for me because I don't want to look like an out of shape fool on the field. Yesterday was a harsh reminder how out of shape I am. I hope by the time fall rolls around I will be ready to play. I really want to be a part of something to keep me active. Although I'm in the gym on a regular basis, and trying to run on my off days, theres nothing like being a part of a sport to keep me active. I can focus on the game, drills, whatever and though its a "work out" it goes by faster and I don't dread doing it the next day. So hopefully by the fall I'll be able to run a 5K and be a part of a team.

Oh and thank you to everyone!!! I love all of your comments. They are great tips, advise, encouragement, everything!! Keep them coming.