I've had time to think

Confession: I am not excited about being pregnant.

I know I know I know I know....How could that be? I will be excited. It's going to be a process.

When I found out that I am pregnant my life did a total 180, I thought that the 180 would happen over time, nine months to be exact. Instead it practically happened over night, I went from employed, busy, and not worried about money, to unemployed, sick, broke, and depressed. Let me expound,

The surge of hormones in my body affected everything in my life and completely caught me off guard. It definitely affected my ability to work. Maintaining the control over my emotions went out the window, and I found myself halfway out the window trying to get my control back. I very quickly realized in a fast pace work environment I could not get a grip over night. Between the emotions and the sickness working full time and in a restaurant was no longer an option. I had to move on find something less stressful, fewer hours, and fewer smells. I know I can handle a job, the one I had wasn't one I could handle.

Quitting meant seeing my work friends less. Also since I am pregnant I can no longer hang with my friends like I use to. First of all they usually don't get off work till late at night and usually stay up until the wee hours of the morning. Since I was so sick waiting until after 10pm to see friends was not an option. Feeling well enough during the day to see friends? Not so much, Quitting was more than just losing my job, but it also meant losing a part of my social life. Which isn't terrible because it opened the door for a different social life. What stinks is that I never maintained friendships outside of work. I was too busy to see my friends who worked a 9-5 weekends off kind of jobs. I worked in the evenings and every weekend and holiday. So I lost my work social life and discovered I didn't have any other social life. So I'm feeling awful, my life and body are drastically changing and I don't know who to talk to? Even if I had kept my friends most of them are single and probably can't relate to a married pregnant girl?

So losing my incoming meant putting buying a house on hold. It also turned into more stress in my marriage. Now it is all on my husband to bring in the money. I had hoped to find a part time less crazy job, or a job that is somewhat closer to what I want to do in life. However, I have not found a job, and really haven't gotten much response from putting my resume out there...kinda not helping with the whole self esteem. Since my income is gone my husband now is working more so we can still try to buy a house which means him working more and me seeing him less, more stress on the marriage.

By now I am losing all motivation to move forward. I have found myself consumed with Netflix and wondering where my life is going?

I kept on saying to myself if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would not be in this slump. The fact is the slump was inevitable. I was no longer happy at my job, and did not have the motivation to move onto to something better. We have always wanted to buy a house but have not been strict enough with our finances to get our act together to buy a house. I was so consumed by my job and how unhappy I was I never bothered to cultivate relationships outside of work. I was slowly moving backwards. Getting pregnant should have been a wake up call but instead was an excuse for me to dive straight into the slump!!!

It has taken two months, losing friends, and no response from employers to make me realize that maybe I need to change. I am changing whether I like it or not. My body is changing and my whole life will change once my little one arrives.

So I have started reading 48 days to the work you love. Reading this book is turning into my wakeup call.

I must admit my husband is probably shocked I'm reading a book.

So I am waking up, figuring what is the "work I love?" In the meantime I'm trying to find some sort of job to keep me moving until I know what to do next. I am going to work on making relationships that will keep me accountable and encouraged. Ones that it doesn't matter what I'm doing in life they will still be there and we will make time for each other.

There are a few friends who have been with me through all of this and I am grateful to you!!! You are first on the list for me to strengthen our relationship.

It is time for me to grow up and find...me.

Officially into the Second Trimester

Confession: I'm tired of everything being so "common"


While doing research and learning about how my body is changing I'm learning everything that is "common" in a pregnancy is happening to me.

Morning Sickness: common occurrence during the first trimester. Which I knew about and figured since my sister had pretty bad morning sickness so I figured I would probably have the same problem. Needless to say it was a nightmare. Everything I smelt made me want to vom everywhere. Not to mention my diet got stripped down to what stays down, and what comes up nicely. However, I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, second trimester (commonly known for the sickness going away)

Heartburn: Yeah that common and I get it quit a bit. Looks like I'll be adding tums to my diet. They say its a sign my baby has a lot of hair....but I don't think that much hair has developed yet.

Constipation: Another common thing that happens during pregnancy. This one I was not aware of...(because my research has been put on hold due to the fact that I was busy hanging out with Mr. Toilet) So one day I have the common urge to use the restroom. While chilling in the Reasor's bathroom I'm wondering why this is taking longer than normal and why things are not just moving the way they should. Finally, I give up and rush home. Mainly because my business wasn't done and I wanted to finish at home. Hours later, after much consumption of water, fiber, and laxatives relief. However, it wasn't quit totally relief....two days later I FINALLY got my system cleared out. Even though my system was clear I managed to clog the toilet. Thinking that was rough but glad it's over, boy was I wrong. So now my diet has changed to an increase in water intake, fiber and laxatives.

Belly Pains: There is a technical term for it I can't remember, the pain you feel while your uterus is stretching. I hope this will only last for a short time, but between the constipation pains and uterus stretching my stomach is in constant pain.

For one week I would like to be pregnant and not have to deal with all the "common" things that happen during pregnancy.

Why I have fallen off the planet for a while

Confession: I'm knocked up!!!!


I will take a moment while you are done pulling your jaw up off the floor, screaming, re-reading my confession, and for some crying.



Yes the rumors are true I am preggers. Which is why I dropped the ball on the whole weight loss challenge. I will say though I have lost weight since I got pregnant not because I was trying but more because I can't keep anything down. So to all my fans trying to lose weight I would like to say keep going!!! Just because my journey is on hold shouldn't make you stop. Once I have had the baby and can workout again I will be back not only to lose baby weight but get to my goal weight.

I'm considering changing my blog to "Confessions of Pregnant Girl" cause life has taken a drastic turn for me. Because of my pregnancy I've had to quit my two jobs, restaurants plus,super sonic pregnant nose, plus, nausea, equals no more food industry for faith. I find myself wanting to comment on how things are so different for me. I am EMOTIONAL.....I am emotional at everything!!! I cry at commercials, movies like transformers (who does that?) and when I do watch something that makes the average girl cry I'm a wreck. Then I get upset so easily, and then I want love, then I'm laughing....I'm all over the place. I was in church and they asked the regular attendees to move to the overflow seating so the first time guest could have a seat in the sanctuary and the amount of people who jumped up to give up their seats sent me to tears!!! I mean the gesture was nice but to make me just start crying??? UGH!!! The hormones are slowly taking over.

The nausea is so intense!!!! I have been oh so sick. To the point that (Ok if you have a weak stomach you might want to stop reading) I have made a list of foods that come up easily and ones that don't, because I throw up that easily. Sometimes I feel like I throw up in courses....in reverse. One night I threw up my dessert thinking ok maybe I ate too much, but just when I thought I was in the clear up came dinner and then a little left over from lunch. One night I threw up ice cream which started my whole list of food that I would rather throw up than others. You see many moons ago while at camp my friend Nick Harris thought it would be a great dinner topic to ask "If you could throw up anything. What would it be?" Of course he had his response which was ice cream. He said i think it would be grand even if it came back right away so that it was still cold and creamy. He has a point!!! Ice cream comes back up wonderfully and usually tastes great. I had a friend say that throwing up blue gatorade came up great as well. So now I'm to the point of picking what I eat based on what comes up the best.

Ok enough puke talk for one day!

So some facts I'm sure everyone is dying to know.

I am 13 weeks

I am due Nov. 1ST

I do not know the sex

I'm sure I'll share the gender once I know

Why the wait to announce? Partly because I miscarried, but I've been so sick I'ver barely had time to formulate a blog between my meetings with the toilet.

Week 13 Day 3

Confession: Life has completely consumed me and I have fallen behind on my blog.

As you can tell from the lack of blogs I have not kept up with keeping you up with my weight loss journey. It has been a rough journey and I have definitely gone up and down throughout the whole journey. I'm back to 217lbs I can't seem to shake that number. So this is the last week for the weight loss challenge and I would just like to give a huge shout out to the girls participating in the challenge!!! You have been great, keeping me updated on your weight loss and sharing tips on what has worked for you. So girls you have four more days to push to the finish line!!! Can you do it? I believe in you!!!!

I would really like to go into some more details about life and what has been holding me back the past few weeks, but I'm not ready to dive into that just yet. Just know that I will. I feel as though I'm stepping into a new direction and when I'm ready I will share with you my dear readers.

Week 11 Day 3

Confession: I have fallen off the wagon.

I actually haven't gained a ton of weight or eaten a ton of crap food. I just got overwhelmed by life and the blog took a backseat to everything that is going on in my life. Having two jobs is more than I thought it was going to be. I've worked two jobs before and it had not been much of a problem....but I was single then and kinda did whatever I wanted. Now that I'm married spending time with my husband is a priority and there are things that he depends on me to do in my free time. You know, cook, clean, buy groceries. So when I started working both jobs and was only home to sleep things got pushed to the side. So I've had to re-prioritze my time and re-adjust how my day goes so I can get things done. He too does help out with things, but his help is different and his free time is less than mine. So needless to say life has been crazy.

For last week 3.14.11 I maintained at 217lbs
For this week 3.21.11 I lost a pound putting me at 216lbs.

215lbs is kinda of a wall for me. That is where I got to the last time I did this blog and couldn't get past that number. Then I had a personal tragedy happen and of course I ate to give myself comfort. Maybe this time I can break through.

Week 9 Day 1

Confession: I ate way too much cake yesterday!!!


Major props to my friend Rhonda who makes some amazing cakes!!!! It was sooooo good that my husband had 3 pieces!!!! I had one piece and picked off of what my husband ate. To all who know me....know I don't like cake. So to say that it was good and not only ate my whole piece and went for more says something.

This week was INSANELY busy so I was strapped for time to eat healthy. So I had a few meals that weren't too healthy. However, since I knew I was busy and had to find some way of keeping my eating under control I did a few little things. I did not eat late at night, I made it a point to eat something in the morning to get me going and I got lots of rest. Which was good cause I lost 1 pound this week!!! YIPPEE!!!

This weeks goal is to continue the no eating late at night, find a quick healthy meal on the go between jobs AND squeeze in a few work outs. I know they won't be the long ones I had been doing, but at least try to get in 20-30 min of cardio and 20-30 min of weights on a somewhat daily basis.

Week 8 Day 3

Confession: I managed to avoid eating late at night.


I got a second job....at a restaurant. I think I'm a gluten for punishment. Why do you ask? WHY? WHY? WHY? Why would I get another job that surrounds me with fatty food and temptation? I don't know. In fact I didn't think of it until I got the job and started training.

I wouldn't say I'm "disgruntled" with my current job, its more political, between changes being made to better the workplace (some good and some not so good) and the simple fact that there are really only two days a week to make money. I know my bosses are making changes to make things better, but it seems to not be better. Which has been causing much stress and thus emotional eating. I know a new job won't lessen the stress. However, the change and challenge of something new may keep from dwelling on the negative and keeping my focus on what is important.

So why another restaurant? Because the hunt for a real job is taking longer than I like and with business not where it needs to be, I need something until I can get a real job.

So my new second job was four days of training and tasting EVERY single item on the menu. I honestly thought I was going to explode. I tried so hard to eat as little as possible but that wasn't possible. So I focused on eating as clean as possible outside of work and tried to get as many work outs in as possible even if it as little as 25 minutes.

So this week I maintained, no gain no loss. I'm okay with it mainly because it's not a gain. This week my goal is to juggle my two jobs and find time to work out....and keep up the no late night eating.